Have a little faith

I'm constantly being challenged by God to let go and trust him. Honestly, that's not always easy for me to do. I have never been one to trust easily. I tend to get too sensitive and get my feelings hurt way to easily, which causes me to lose trust in people. A small part of me has always lived by the theory of "the only one you can count on 100%, 100% of the time is yourself (obviously I am only talking about humans in this). Most of the time I don't live by that, but if my feelings get hurt, it can take a very very long time for me to get over it...if I get over it at all. As far as God goes, I trust him, but for whatever reason there are times I feel the need to "help" him whether it's because I am not getting the answer I want, or am not getting it fast enough.

For example, I don't want to go into too much detail for fear of embarrassing her or hurting her or making this seem like a much bigger situation than it is, but Chelsea and her boyfriend have been having some problems recently. We have seen some things over the past few months that does give us a little cause for concern, but believe me when I say it's nothing serious, or action would be taken. Because I have had guys treat me very badly in the past, I have always raised my daughters to believe they deserve to be with someone who treats them like a princess, like the treasure they are and to never ever let anyone hurt them or talk down to them or put them down. I also maybe get extra sensitive when I don't feel they are being treated that way. I personally don't feel Chelsea is always being treated as she deserves and it really bothers me. I see little things that raise a flag in my head, and I don't know if I am being overly sensitive or if there really is something to be concerned about, ya know? Jay and I have talked about it, and because he's never been in the position I have, he can't relate to how I'm feeling. I've talked to Chelsea about it and she thinks I'm over-reacting. Maybe I am....maybe I'm not.

I know I can't protect her from every little pain in life (although as a mother I wish I could). I know I have to let her go and pray she is strong enough to stand on her own two feet, but it is soooooooo hard and heartbreaking, especially when you see them hurting and in tears. I have said many prayers asking God to give me comfort so I know everything will be ok, but I haven't felt that comfort come over me yet. So, does that mean I shouldn't feel comfortable? Or does it mean that he's trying to say "Chill out and trust me". Probably the latter. :)

So, once again I have to try very hard to step back, let go, and have faith. I say it all the time: Life was so much easier when potty-training was as hard as I thought it could ever get.