Thursday, February 05, 2009

For The Love Of Emails

I am so grateful for email. Without it, there are so many things I wouldn't know about myself.

Daily I receive emails from many caring people, most of whom I've never met. But to know the world is filled with people who are only looking out for my best interest is heart-warming to say the least.

For example, a few days ago I received an email from "Brad & Karen" letting me know that they could help me earn a minimum of $5,000 a month using my computer. Who knew my old Dell desktop could do that for me? I sure didn't, but I'm so glad my new friends are willing to teach me and my only obiligation is to send them $79.00 for the start up kit.

I also receive emails from people helping me with all sorts of ailments, conditions and predicaments - some I was unaware I was dealing with. Such as:

Curing my or my partners snoring problem. We've been there, done that, no cures available, so we have figured out ways to ignore it. Sorry. No sale.

My IRS tax problems. I'm really not worried about any of those. I mean, if politicians can say "it was an unintenional error" and get away with it, so can I, right?

Extending my vehicle warranties on my Dodge. We don't even own a Dodge, but maybe this is a sign we should buy one?

Getting my paralegal or Forensic Science degrees. These are lines of work I've never really considered, but I do love the tv show Law & Order SVU so perhaps.....?

Ways to transform my body through different diets, exercises, pills, potions, creams, lasers, needles, etc. Have they been looking at me in the shower? If not, how do they know I need these? Who have they been talking to?

Selling my house (or buying one) FAST! Guess that's good in case solving my unknown tax problems doesn't work out and I need to go into hiding in Rio or Barbados.

Ways to stop aging. I have always said that I will be a 90 year old woman with a full head of beautiful blonde hair thanks to my friend Loreal, but having the rest of me still look 20 as I'm shuffling along behind my walker wearing a tube top and daisy dukes might look kinda cute dontcha think?

Items, books, etc to help assist in the privacy of our bedroom. Pretty sure things are ok in this area, so I'm guessing they got the wrong Dena when sending out this email. Yeah, we'll just leave this one alone.

And then there is the gentleman, a Shiek, or Prime Minister, or Governor of some foreign country who is honoring me with his request to donate money to his cause so he can be freed from the prison he is in. Wonder how he heard that we have so much money laying around, as well as stacked in piles in our basement that we'd love to just toss some his way? oooooh, could this be another tax break for us?

But my favorite emails of all come in the form of letting me know how I can get my own stimulus checks, that's right checkS, plural. I am considered important enough to be offered more money to help get our economy going again. I am shocked, and yet honored and will do my best to help this great country of our to rise up from the rough times we are in.

Don't worry America, I'll save us!

Target here I come!

1 comment:

Kelly said...

So true. Yesterday I got one from someone claiming to be John McCain. At the end, it had a disclaimer saying it wasn't endorsed by any candidate. Weird, huh? That one ended up in the trash.