Saturday, February 07, 2009

Winter In Iowa


65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Iowa plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Iowa sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Iowa drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians put on coats, thermal underwear, gloves,wool hats.
People in Iowa throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Iowa have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Iowans close the windows.

Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Iowa get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.

The Girl Scouts in Iowa are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Iowa let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Iowans get upset because they can't start the Snowmobile.

40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Iowa start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Iowa public schools will open 2 hours late.

And if you think I'm kidding about this all being true, come to Iowa in March or April. As soon as it gets in the upper 40's we'll open our windows to air out our homes, we'll shed our winter coats and just wear a sweater with our shorts, and we'll also drive with our tops down on our cars.

As a matter of fact, just yesterday I ran a couple of errands and got groceries. It was 37 degrees at that time. I counted no less than 10 motorcycles out and about. I even ditched my winter coat for the day and had a hoodie sweatshirt on instead.

We are a hardy bunch here in the midwest.


sara said...

so true!! I lived in ND for 5 years. We let the kids go out to play if it was 1 degree above zero! The day my youngest was born, it was 92 below zero!!!

Glad I don't live there anymore!

LuAnn said...

I can relate to this. Yesterday it was 45 in WI and I did not wear a coat.

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Loved this. I was just thinking similar (but not as funny) thoughts about Indiana.

Becky said...

"Californians shiver uncontrollably."

NUH-UH! I'd make good in Iowa. I LOVE coldness.