Thursday, June 24, 2010

The 3 Little Pigs

Remember the story of the 3 little pigs?  While they were able to be safe in their Iowa farm home, the big bad wolf never gave up trying to blow it down. Hammy, Bacon, & Pork Chop got fed up with that wolf trying to constantly destroy their happy little barn. Their fear was at an all-time high, and their swine-esteem at an all time low.

After attending a self-defense course for pigs (no really...they do have them) they decided it was time to take back their lives...or at least, their part of the barn. They formed a gang and called it "Suínos Louco", which is how you say "Crazy Pigs" in Pork-tugese. They set out to prove they would no longer be bullied by the wolf or anyone, and they went on a wild rampage and became bullies themselves.

Hammy was the leader of the Suinos Louco.

The gang ran down the streets terrorizing anyone who got in their way.

Soon they were not happy with just taking back their part of the farm, but other parts as well. They thought the lush green grass in the horse arena looked like a great place to hang out and enjoy the breeze.

Hammy moved slowly, getting ever closer to the horses, while Bacon & Pork chop watched from a safe distance behind the rusty old wagon wheel. Max the horse gave one powerful kick to Hammy who let out a squeal and the gang retreated hastily. They learned to never try to have a turf war with gang members who are a bazillion times bigger than you.

The Suinos Louco showed up at our doorstep one day. Tucker did his best to try to scare them away, but it had no effect.

As I sat on the steps I tried to reason with them, but they wouldn't listen. How could I show Suinos Louco that they had better stop being bullies to all of us or else?

Then it came to me...

 The End

(Editors note: I whole-heartedly apologize for this sad attempt at a funny story. This is what happens when I wake up at 3am and can't get back to sleep. I call it an episode of "Thoughts Gone Wild". :-/  Someday there will be better sleeping medicines that will help keep things like this from  happening ever again. Until then, please bear with me.)


Nicole said...

Funniest thing I have read in a long time. Keep it up Dena! Love ya

skoots1mom said...

nothing a whack up side the head with a skillet won't cure...'jes teasin'...
too funny.
Pork ALWAYS has a place on my table ;)

The Bug said...

I like my bacon extra crisp!

I can't believe I just typed that - cute little piggies!

sara said...

ok you are so funny!!! it's that new clean's getting to your head!