The brain flu

Two nights ago Ashley complained of a headache and said she was really tired. My logical response was "Why don't you take some Advil and go to bed." She looked at me like I had grown a 3rd eye in the middle of my forehead. I was like "What, is there a booger hanging from my nose?" After she commented on how gross that was she informed that it as only 9:00 in the evening and there was NO WAY she could go to bed that early and actually get to sleep. I said "Didn't you just say you were tired?" She admitted she did say that, but not going to sleep tired, just tired, tired.

*Does anyone ever really understand teenagers? Are we even supposed to?*

So I did what I usually do and I shook my head to try to clear the confusion and said "Uh ok, you have fun with that." About 20 min later she came to me and said "Mom, I think I'm going to go to bed." One part of my brain wanted to bop her upside the head with my shoe and shout "I just said the same thing and you acted like I had lost what little I have left of my sanity!" But, I do have some experience in dealing with teenage girls now and I knew it was best to say just what I did, which was "Ok sweetie, whatever you feel is best. I love you and hope you feel better." But inside my mind...the bopping did occur!

Yesterday she was pretty much a zombie. Except for maybe an hour here or an hour there, she slept all day. During those occassional hours when she graced us with her pleasant presence, she growled, complained, whined and bit the head off of anyone who dared come within biting distance. Oh yea, she was such a delight! I finally told her "My darling daughter, if you don't quiet down or go down to your room, I will give permission to your brother to pour ketchup all over you and then the dogs can eat you." She evidentally didn't find that amusing because she stomped all the way down to her room sounding like a 2-ton elephant with every step. I made the comment "Geez, for someone too weak to stand, you sure can stomp!" Which got the response of "Mooooooooom stop it!" as she slammed the door to her room. aaaaahhhh peace and harmony in the home. Does it get any better than this? Maybe PMS can start early?

By last night she was perking up and I figured the worst was over with. My joy was short-lived when Chelsea came to me and said "Mom, I have a headache, I don't feel good and I'm really tired." Do I give her the same suggestion I gave to Ashley just 24 short hours before? Being a glutton for punishment...of COURSE I say the same thing. And guess what, she had the same reaction! How dare I suggest she go to bed at 9:00. She doesn't talk to Clint until at least 9:30. I said "Oh does he have a curfew that would mean you couldn't call him any earlier and explain you don't feel well and therefore you need to go to bed?" She actually said "Duh, why would I tell him I'm sick?" Uhhh....because you are sick? She said "So? Geez, why do you parents have to be so wierd?" And she walked away to her bedroom, leaving me standing there scratching my head wondering if I really just had that conversation that honestly made no sense at all.

That's when it hit me...they must have the brain flu. It attacked their brains and makes them say crazy things that no one can understand. It takes somewhat normal teenagers and turns them into crazed emotional lions and removes any chance of anyone understanding a single word. It appears there is no cure for this flu, but thankfully it's short-lived. Within 24 hrs the patient begins to make normal coherent comments such as: Hey dad, can I have some money? or Mom, where are my shoes? or Geez, why do parents have to be so wierd? (ok, somethings never change), which assures you that they are on the mend and you will still never be cool.

Things have been going good since late this afternoon when Chelsea started to feel better. Austin shows no signs of it, and neither does Jay. I on the other hand have a headache and now that I think about it, I am kind of tired. Too bad I can't go to bed...after all it's only 9:00. If I do get the brain flu, I wonder if I'll start saying silly things that make no sense? hhhmmm...

Hoopdy-stinkin-doo. I have the flu. How about you? And the rest of your crew? Want it too? I can come breathe on you. Then you'll feel like doo-doo. And you can talk nonsense too.

Ok, I think I need to go to bed.....