Loyalty

I am all about being loyal. I consider myself fiercly loyal, especially when it is someone or something I firmly believe in or love. But what do you do when your loyalty pulls you in different directions at the same time?

I just experienced that last night, and let me just say, it sucks! I literally hated ever second of it.

Our high school basketball team played against a nearby school with whom we have a HUGE rivalry. Outside of sports, the kids all get along great, and have great respect for one another, but during games they are bitter rivals, which makes it fun.

Ashley cheers for our school, so of course I really really wanted our school to win. A win would mean that our team would play in Vets Auditorium for a sub-state game, and the winner of that game would play in Wells Fargo Arena in the state tournaments. I remember cheering at state when I was in high school and it was an awesome experience. I wanted Ashley to get a chance at that experience and our girls team was our best chance. Our boys play tonight with the same potential for advancement, but we play an awesome team and I just don't know if we can pull out a victory.

So anyhow, back to loyalty....obviously, with Ashley being my daughter and wanting her to get to continue cheering, my loyalty was to our team. I cheered and yelled along with the cheerleaders just like I have all season (there are a few of us moms who always cheer with them and we call ourselves "The Mom Squad" LOL).

Here's where it gets tricky.....

One of the coaches for the opposing team is none other than Jay. With him being my husband, he is my heart and we are one. Of course I want him to win. He and the other coaches work so hard and Jay has an amazing ability to reach those girls on a level where they appreciate and respect him. He's so good with them. The coach for our team can't stand Jay. She is a very self-centered person and not many like her. Jay has offered to help at camps, but she refuses help, refuses to listen to anyone...she knows "everything". To give you an example of how egotistical this woman is, we had a girl fall and get hurt at an away game. The opposing team has a nurse on their coaching staff. The nurse ran right out to help, when our coach pushed her away and said "I can handle it, I've been a trainer." Ya know, if I'm ever hurt, I think I'd rather have a nurse than a trainer. Due to the stupidity and arrogance of our coach, and the fact of how much Jay has a love for this game and helping kids, I really really wanted Jay's team to win.

So now what do I do? I want BOTH to win. Where do I put my loyalty?? With my daughter who has only a short time left of her cheerleading career? Or with my husband who has worked so hard to help that team achieve their full potential. AAACCCKK!

To say it was a nerve-wracking game is an understatment of huge proportions! I was so nervous. I didn't dare outwardly cheer for Jay's team. I was swimming in a sea of maroon...to cheer for red could have cost me my life! LOL So secretly, I'd cheer when they'd make a great play (which they did a lot of...they really are a talented team!), but outwardly, I'd be yelling "Here We Go Hawks, Here We Go!" right along with everyone else on my side of the gym.

Sadly for Ashley, Jay's team won. Honestly, they worked much harder and deserved the win. Ashley is friends with some of the girls on the team, so while she was sad in one aspect, she was happy in another.

To give you another indication of how crappy our coach is.....There is one girl on our team who I will call "Jen". We are good friends with Jens family and kids from both families are active in showing at both the county and state fairs. Ashley & Jen are very close friends. Jen is a starter on the team and one of the hardest working girls you could ever meet, and she is also one of the sweetest girls. She has wanted to improve her playing ability, but wasn't getting the help from her coach, so Jay has been helping her on the weekends with things like her shot, rebounding, etc. The last time Jay helped a player, the coach found out and chewed the girl out for going to someone else. Most coaches would be glad they got the help, but not her. So Jay has been meeting with Jen privately (with her parents permission of course). Jen was obviously disappointed that her team didn't win. As Jay was leaving the game, he saw Jen standing there with tears in her eyes, and he gave her a hug. He told her "Jen, you have nothing to hang your head over. You have improved by 150% this year. You played an incredibly hard fought game (and she really did) and you were our biggest challenge out there. You should be really proud of yourself." While he was talking to her, our coach walked by and tugged on Jens arm (while Jay was still giving her a hug) and said "Come on, lets go" and led her away to the bus, she never even said one word to Jay. This coach is so selfish and insecure, that she doesn't want any of her "her" team members talking to anyone who is not on the team and not a parent of the team member.

So, I survived my loyalty test and I'm hoping it never happens again! For now I am cheering on the Hawks boys team tonight, and on Monday I'll cheer on Jay's team at sub-state. Still a couple of nerve-wracking games, but at least no loyalty issues to deal with.