Let Us Make Bread Together

On the CORE program you aren't supposed to have bread, but you can improvise. There are several CORE approved breads that you can find recipes for. So, I know the recipes take flour, salt, blah, blah, blah. I have all the ingredients, so I pulled out the bread machine that I bought last week. I said "oooo" and aaahhh" as I opened it. The possibilities are endless with this baby!

I grab the recipe and prepare to start on my journey to being the next Martha Stewart or Rachael Ray. First ingredient: Cream of Wheat. CRAP! How could I have forgotten to buy Cream of Wheat when the recipe is called "Cream of Wheat Bread"? In the evening Chelsea went with her boyfriend while he got groceries so I gave her money to buy some Cream of Wheat.

This morning I got all the kennel dogs cared for and excitedly grabbed the recipe and the mixing bowl. But wait...you don't need a mixing bowl when using a bread machine. You just dump it all in there. Oh happy day!

I tossed in the Cream of Wheat. Check. I go through the other ingredients until I get to the last one - yeast. Um....what? Yeast? Well CRAP again! The banana breads I have made in the past haven't called for yeast. Have they? I decide to search through all the CORE bread recipes and sure enough, every single one of them calls for yeast. I had to run Austin to get a haircut after lunch, so I dropped him off and I went to the grocery store. Our town grocery store is small enough that I don't do my regular grocery shopping in there. I go at times like this, when I have forgotten something.

I walked up and down the baking aisle and couldn't find what I was looking for. Of course, it would have helped if I had know WHAT I was looking for. I mean does yeast come in a box? a can? a bag? a jar? I looked and looked and couldn't find it, so I went to the front and asked if by chance they were out of yeast (trying to sound like I knew what I was talking about). She said "No, we have some. It's in aisle 2 (the aisle I had been searching). I went back and wandered aimlessly again. The lady came back and said "Its right here". Oooooohh, so it comes in packets. hhmm...learn something new every day! She said "how many do you want?" I didn't want to have to come back again right away because I didn't get enough, and I was going to make a whole loaf of bread, and I assumed it would take quite a bit. "10 packets please". She looked at me funny and said "10?" Boy she must not bake much I thought. "Yep, 10." "Okkkkk" she said and handed me 10 individual packets. I paid for them and headed home to find I needed 1 for the whole loaf. No wonder she looked at me like I was a dufus.

I didn't understand something in the recipe so I went to the forum site, hoping someone would be online and sure enough, 2 ladies I know very well were on: Sue & Janet. I had a conversation with them that went something like this:
Me: So I had to go get some yeast. Would cornstarch have worked as a substitute?
Sue: Uh, no. LOL
Me: What about Gold Bond Powder?
Sue: You are kidding...right?
Me: Uh, yea. right. hehehe (nervous laughter)
Sue: make sure you test it.
Me: test what?
Sue: The yeast. If it's no good, you don't want it to ruin the batch.
I read that sentence to say "you don't want it to ruin the bath.
Me: Wait. I have to take a bath?
Sue: What?
Me: Never mind.
Janet: You don't cook much do you?
Me: LOL why do you ask that?
Janet: Oh, just a hunch. LOL
Janet: Yes, yeast is important. Unless you want unleaven.
Again...it's important to read correctly. I read that to say "Unless you want uneven"
Me: So what if it's uneven. It'll still taste ok right? Plus, doesn't the machine level it out?
No response from either of them.
Sue: You gotta test to be sure they aren't dead.
Me: Are we still talking about bread here?
Sue: Yes why?
Me: Well, who's dead?
Janet: OMG, you have to come to my house to cook for me sometime. I need to see this live!"
Me: ummm, Janet. Are you laughing at me?
Janet: No, and the diet pepsi sprayed all over my screen is just a coincidence.
Me: All I want to know is why I have to take a bath to make some bread?
Janet: OMG you are killing me here!
Me: Well at least I'll know who died!
Sue: Do you have any of your kids at home with you?
Me: Yes. Why?
Sue: Could you please have one of them record you through this whole process and I'd be happy to pay for a copy and the shipping to have it sent to me.
Me: Ha-ha. You're being no help at all. And for the record. I'm not feeling the love from either of you. lol

So, it looks like I am on my own as far as making the bread. I'll let you know how it went once I have my first loaf done. I'm sure it'll be booooo-tiful!