Ok, So I'm not Walter Ray Williams or Kelly Kulik. I'm not, and I'm ok with that. I have lived a long, relatively healthy, prosperous life. I admit that I'm not a really athletic person, and again, I've felt pretty ok about that in my lifetime...until last night. Jay & Austin & I headed into town to the local bowling alley and we caught up with his Aunt & Uncle and their 2 sons. Their younger son I will call "Bob" for the sake of anonimity...ok, the truth is, that I don't need anyone going up and giving "Bob" high fives based on what I'm about to write. My emotional scarring has already begun, thank you very much.
Jay, Austin & the oldest son bowled together on one lane. Bob was alone, so I asked if I could bowl with him. He is only 6 and they had the gutter guards up, so thought I could actually look pretty good bowling against him. And yes, I promised to take it easy on the little scamp.
First, I have an issue with bowling shoes. Putting my feet into someone elses shoes honestly grosses me out. But for the sake of family fun and harmony, I let it go.
The first game goes pretty well and I actually broke 100. 
Bob did a good job too, and since he IS only 6, I didn't gloat when I won. Well, I did on the inside, but on the outside I was as cool as a cucumber. The 2nd game didn't go as well, but Bob was so awesome. He kept saying things like "Well at least you did knock two of them down". Heh, thanks for the oral reminder that it was only 2. It's not like the large screen over my head with a laughing character on it wasn't humiliating enough, now I have a sweet boy trying to be helpful. Again, he IS only 6, so I thanked him for looking at the positive side and we trudged on. Later he said "You don't bowl very much do you? Yea, he's a cutie patootie alright. Bob won the 2nd game and the little squirt did the fist pump 
and said "Do you wanna play again?" I said "Sure Bob, bring it on! This time you are goin' down. You've won one game, and I've won one game, so this is for the Championship!" He said "I hope you can do your best." I looked at him standing there so sweetly looking back at me. Wait...what was that? Was that a hint of a smirk? Was he smirking at me? YES he was! I think I even heard him chuckle. Oh no, he didn't...did he? YES he did! He chuckled at me! Ok, ok, that's it! I don't care if he IS only 6 years old, he really is goin' down!
Bob did a good job too, and since he IS only 6, I didn't gloat when I won. Well, I did on the inside, but on the outside I was as cool as a cucumber. The 2nd game didn't go as well, but Bob was so awesome. He kept saying things like "Well at least you did knock two of them down". Heh, thanks for the oral reminder that it was only 2. It's not like the large screen over my head with a laughing character on it wasn't humiliating enough, now I have a sweet boy trying to be helpful. Again, he IS only 6, so I thanked him for looking at the positive side and we trudged on. Later he said "You don't bowl very much do you? Yea, he's a cutie patootie alright. Bob won the 2nd game and the little squirt did the fist pump and said "Do you wanna play again?" I said "Sure Bob, bring it on! This time you are goin' down. You've won one game, and I've won one game, so this is for the Championship!" He said "I hope you can do your best." I looked at him standing there so sweetly looking back at me. Wait...what was that? Was that a hint of a smirk? Was he smirking at me? YES he was! I think I even heard him chuckle. Oh no, he didn't...did he? YES he did! He chuckled at me! Ok, ok, that's it! I don't care if he IS only 6 years old, he really is goin' down!I decide it's time to get serious now. I need to teach this kid a lesson. I approach the lane, I let my arm go back in a smooth motion and .....release. The ball bounces off one gutter guard and then another. Crap....2 pins. I walk back to the table and Bob says "Well, at least you got..." "Don't even say it!" I interrupted. He grins and walks to his ball. It was then that I knew I was in trouble. From then on my game went downhill. I would get 1-6 pins on my first ball and never pick up the spare. On the overhead screen it shows a " - " if you don't get any balls. So my score would look like: 4 -, 3-, 6-, 2-, etc. Bob says "You know, you should really learn how to get those other pins." 
Wait...is he now trash talkin' me? He giggles and walks away. He is! He is! This pint sized 6yr old is trash talkin' me! The next time I didn't get a -, I got a 1 and Bob says "Well at least you finally got 1 that time". ACK! I had visions of rolling him down the lane!
Wait...is he now trash talkin' me? He giggles and walks away. He is! He is! This pint sized 6yr old is trash talkin' me! The next time I didn't get a -, I got a 1 and Bob says "Well at least you finally got 1 that time". ACK! I had visions of rolling him down the lane!So, you can imagine how that game came out. I got my butt kicked...and kicked bad. It was pretty embarrassing. But not as embarrassing as knowing I lost to a 6 year old, while using gutter guards.
Oh well, it's ok. I'm going to practice bowling on our Wii. I'm sure it's pretty much the same anyhow. Then I'll be ready for the rematch between me and Bob. I just need to work on my trash talkin' so I can be ready with the comebacks. Get ready Bob...I'm comin' for you!
No comments:
Post a Comment