I Don't Think I Like This

Ashley got a letter in the mail yesterday from the college she'll be attending. It talked all about "move-in" day. It also included a list of things to consider bringing: tv, fridge, bedding, alarm clock, pictures/posters, knick-knacks, etc. She was talking a mile-a-minute (and for those of you who know her...I mean she was even talking faster than normal). She had total excitement in her voice and on her face. I just looked at her and smiled, while inside I wanted to cry. This list makes it seem so permanent. She's lived away from home before. She's been to bible camp, asthma camp, Spain trip, school trips. Sure, she's lived away from home, but the longest has been two weeks. This is - well, basically - forever. It just hit me that she will be leaving home - forever. My baby girl will be gone.

Oh sure, I know, I can still visit her there (she'll only be an hour away), and she'll come home too. But it's all going to be different now. I'm sure I'll adjust, but I don't want to.

It is said that God doesn't give you any more than you can handle. Yea, well I think he's cutting it pretty close here. Being a mom is the only "job" I have ever wanted to have. Even with all it's ups and downs, I have loved every minute of it (yes, even those early teen days with 2 girls). I'm like the CEO in a way, and my job is being downsized. In a few more years, I will be laid off.

So be prepared to pass me tissues in the coming month. I'm going to be needing lots of them. Even though Chelsea isn't moving out right away, we barely see her now as it is, between her working and spending time with her boyfriend. Once college starts, it'll be like she has moved out as well. Then we'll be down to one child at home. We've never had an "only child" at home before. It's going to be different. It's going to be strange. It's going to be hard.

Yea, I don't think I like this very much. Let's go back to when they were babies please.