I should have stayed in bed

Yesterday I had some errands to run and I felt so good about how organized I was in writing down exactly where I needed to go and what I needed to get/do. I drove 30 min to my first destination. I got to the parking lot and reached for my purse on the passenger seat.

It's not there.
Nope, not in the back seat either.
And...it's not under the seats either.

*sigh*

It's on the island - in the kitchen - back at home.

Soooooo, back I go, 30 min back home. The dogs bark wildly as if I have been gone for days (why can't my family get that excited to see me? Is that really too much to ask for?). I have to break the news to the dogs that no, Mommy isn't home to stay. No, Mommy can't play fetch right now. No, Mommy can't stay to play tug-of-war with Mr. Bunny. I grab my purse and head to the door and make a bad, bad mistake. I looked back at the dogs. All are standing there looking so pathetic. Ringo stands there and slowly lets his tail drop. Molly stands there wagging her tail slowly (with hope and optimism that I might actually be staying after all). Gabby stands with Mr. Bunny in her mouth and Tucker has a stuffed ball in his mouth. All look devastated that I'm leaving and of course, I am now wracked with guilt.

I drive 30 min back to location number one and get my items I needed. I then head to the post office and the book store. The book store didn't have the book one daughter needs, so it had to be ordered. I set off to my next stop - Target.

I heart Target.

I'm in there getting things that are on my list, including a cookie sheet. I had burned enough foods on the other one that it begged to be put out of its misery. I grabbed a sheet from one stack, which bumped another stack, which slid far enough to the end of the shelf that I hear:

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

I said a quick prayer "Please God, let that have been caused by someone else". But God himself was evidentally too busy laughing at what I had done to answer that prayer.

I had bumped an entire end rack of 12 full-sized ironing boards. They crashed to the ground in a giant domino style pattern and each one was louder than the one before. I wanted to crawl under them and hide right then. Two Target employees came running over to see if I was alright. Other than my face being bright red and my dignity running out the back door, I was fine. They kept apologizing for this happening (did they somehow think this was their fault?), and this one particular boy kept calling me ma'am. I have always disliked being called ma'am. To me, it's not polite. It's not even nice. It means I'm old. You can call my grandmother ma'am all you want, but do not call me that. Call me "hey laaa-dy" like Jerry Lewis, and I'm fine with that. Just don't call me ma'am. They also kept saying things like: "Are you sure you didn't hurt yourself?" "If you need help with any of your shopping, please let one of us know", and "You have a nice day now, ok?" I suddnely realized they were talking to me like an elderly person. And to them and their teenage selves, I probably was considered elderly. All I could think of was how I was going to be talked about in Study Hall or P.E. tomorrow. And they would all have a good laugh at how dumb "old" people are.

I re-grouped and got to the check out and the lady said rather sarcastically "You should have been here doing your shopping yesterday. Eeeeee-very one else was here yesterday".

Yea, she is obviously employee of the month and ms. sunshine all wrapped up in one friendly red shirt wearing package.

My snappy comeback was "Which is why I waited to do my shopping until today" flash big smile. This lady, whom I have never met before in my life, looks right at me and says "Well then, your smarter than you look." Continue to flash big smile.

Wait....Was I just insulted? Replace big flashy smile with confused look complete with one eyebrow raised.

I kept trying to wrap my head around what she had just said. Would she really say something like that to someone she doesn't know? Do I actually know her and not remember? Surely there had to be an explanation...right? I couldn't come up with one if there was.

I just looked at her and said "Well, you continue to have a nice day, ok?" and I left. Still wondering if she somehow knew me. I do know that I was glad to be done with my errands. I stopped for a well deserved diet coke for the way home and I arrived home to dogs who were just as excited to see me as they were the first time I returned.

Aaahhh....there really is no place like home....and a well earned nap.