Psst. Psst. Over here. On the right. Yea, here I am. Hi. My name is Ringo and I'm a bearded collie mix. My mother was a beardie. What's that? No, we don't know what my mix is, so thanks for reminding me that I don't know who my daddy is.
Anyhow, my mom is Dena, who normally writes on this blog. I gotta talk quietly because mom is still sleeping, and you know the statement "Let sleeping dogs lie"? Yea, well, that's true with my mom too. She's not a morning person, and it's even worse if she wakes up before she can yell at the alarm clock and call it the dumbest invention on the planet.
As I'm sure you know, we dogs don't have fingers, or opposable thumbs, so you can imagine just how hard it is for me to type this. Which should give you insight into just how important this is!
Since I'm the oldest, I have been assigned as spokesdog for my little brother and my 2 sisters. We love our mom, we really do and she's a great mom. She always gives us lots of hugs and she plays with us and she even buys us raw bones from the meat department. She's better than a chew toy any day! We only have one complaint....she's gotten cheap.
You see, we all have hair that needs groomed. Mine is long and straight, while the others have curly hair. Mom brushes us often and we get baths once a week (less in the winter). Every other month she takes us to the groomer. We don't really like going there, but mom does make us laugh with her "oooohhh who's so handsome" and "oooohhh who's such pretty babies" when she picks us up, and she gets all excited when she sees us in our bandanas, and we all dance around together when we get home, so we tolerate going. She is great entertainment.
The last time we were there, the groomer had a notice up stating she was raising her prices. Well now that mom stays home during the day with us, she's always trying to find new ways to save money. We still get our raw bones a couple of times a week, so it hasn't affected us too much...until now.
Mom bought a clippers.
Mom bought 3 different sizes of scissors.
Mom bought a grooming book and video.
Mom just ordered a bar that will clamp to the counter and will hold us in place.
All of this means mom is going to try to groom us herself.
This is serious people!
I'm not sure what happened to this poor dog, but I'm guessing he had a cheap owner who groomed him all by herself. Look at my picture again. I'm a seriously handsome dog, am I right? Mom keeps my long hair shorter because that's more practical on a farm, and I'm ok with that. But winters coming, and I do not want to end up naked like this poor pooch! We don't want that to happen to any of us.
Please! We are all down on the floor (which is known as the long down position in the dog obedience world) with our heads between our paws begging for your help. Donations are gladly accepted so that she will take us back to the groomers and keep far far away from us with those clippers. We'd get them ourselves and bury them in the backyard, but thanks to Tucker getting into things all the time, she makes sure items are now put up high and we can't reach them. Thanks again Tucker.
We also ask for you to put your paws together and pray for us. Pray for our hair. Pray for our poor delicate skin. Pray for our mom to come to her senses! We want her to think of taking us to the groomer the way the Loreal commercial says it: "It's more expensive. But we're worth it."
Please. For the love of dogs everywhere, do not tuck your tail and ignore this plea!