Today I went to see Chelsea's new apartment. Her current lease is up in July and she's moving to a new apartment in early August with a new roommate. Did you notice when I said she's moving? A-u-g-u-s-t. But she has been bugging me to see her apartment for a couple of weeks now. When Chelsea gets her mind focused on something, she will stay on you until you listen to her. Almost every day she sends me a text...."So you wanna see the apartment today?"
The apartment complex is nice, in a nice area, mostly college kids or young married couples. The "show" apartment is currently occupied. One of the renters was home and he seriously creeped me out. I almost wished I carried some mace with me. Yea, that creepy. He never said hello or anything, just stood there and stared at us while the landlord's assistant showed us around. We got to the first bedroom and it was a nice size and all, but messy. The next bedroom was larger and oh so much messier! Oh my goodness! I'm not even kidding - dirty clothes everywhere. We literally had to walk on them to get to the bathroom to see it. There was even dirty underwear on the bathroom floor! Can I get an "eeewwwww".
Also, I don't consider myself knowledgeable in any way regarding marijuana, however there was one time way back when, that a friend took me to her friends apartment and when we walked in there was a seriously funky smell. I remember whispering to my friend 'Ok, what stinks?' She said "Oh Jerry smokes pot." (I left immediately, and no, that girl and I are not friends anymore). To my knowledge that is the last time I was anywhere near any marijuana, but today I stood in that apartment bedroom thinking "oh wow....this reminds me of Jerrys!" I made Chelsea promise to spray plenty of Febreeze when she moves in, so maybe the drug dogs won't smell anything leftover if they ever have to come to the building for any reason.
As we left the apartment we stopped in the kitchen, and as I looked around I notice that cupboards don't go all the way to the ceiling. My parents cupboards are that way, and they have nice decorative items on display up there. Not these guys. Alcohol bottles stood shoulder to shoulder as packed in as they could be all along the top. They were also all across the back of the stove and you couldn't fit another bottle on top of the fridge.
Now, I've never been a landlord before, but, if you are going to designate one apartment as the "show" apartment, wouldn't you assign some rules to whoever is choosing to rent that apartment? Such as:
Keep it presentable.
Keep the alcohol bottles in the cabinets.
Spray Febreeze to keep that "funky" smell away.
Chelsea was embarrassed for me to see the apartment, even though it wasn't like it was her mess. She wants us to like it so much, and I felt bad that those knuckleheads didn't allow me to have a great first impression (although I did look beyond the mess and it is a nice apartment). So, to help break the ice I said the first thing that came to my mind:
Maybe he can't be all bad....he does wear the same brand of underwear your dad does.