She's Off To Japan

This morning our alarm went off at 2:30am. Ugh! I am not a morning person, and I don't move well in the mornings, so the 2:30 alarm was not a friendly sound to me. ha

After we got dressed, we drove an hour to Ashley's apartment to pick her up, as well as Chelsea, who had spent the night with Ashley. They decided to pull an all-nighter (ah to be young again lo)

We took Ashley to the airport, and got her checked in. I made her agree to let me take some pictures and her comment was "Do I have a choice?" ~ She knows me so well. :)

As we said our good-byes I was fine with the "I love you" and "Have a great trip" part. However, when I said "Have a wonderful Christmas", I lost it. I hadn't intended to cry, but realizing this was our first Christmas

without all 3 of our children home with us, is a sad thing, so I think as a mom, I'm allowed a good cry.

But, that having been said, I must also say that I am so super excited and happy for Ashley and Lance to have this reunion and time together. They were married at the end of April, and in early May, Lance went off to war in Afghanistan. He's a marine, so they are right in the thick of things, and as time went on, the stress was starting to wear on Ashley. She wouldn't admit it, but as a parent, you know your child well enough to see it.

Jay and I both were smiling thinking about which one of them will run to the other the fastest, and how long their first embrace will be before they stop hugging. What a sweet image, and part of me wishes I could be there to see that happiness that will be on both their faces. Sadly, she wasn't excited about the thought of me tagging along, so I made her promise that she will take LOTS of pictures, and she assured me she will.

With lay-overs and total flight time, it will take her 23 hours to fly to Okinawa. She left her at 6am this morning (Monday), and she'll arrive in Okinawa at 9pm tomorrow evening (Tuesday). LOL


In 19 days she'll return, and I know it will be hard for both of them. But, as Ashley said before leaving "I know it's going to be hard to leave him, but it won't be as hard as the last time when I knew he was going to war."

One of the last things she said before she headed up the escalators to her gate were sweet words I'll carry with me for the next 19 days "Oh my gosh mom, Seriously? Another picture??"

I wish both my daughter and my son-in-law a wonderful reunion, and lots of wonderful memories of their time together. And I wish for them both a very merry Christmas and happy New Year. I love you both!!

The 'Dreaded' Phone Call

Ever get one of those calls late at night that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up just hearing it ring? We had a call like that last night. 

Ashley called us around 1:00am, and was upset. It had been storming, and when she got off work at midnite she drove slowly back to her campus (visibility was very poor). When she got closer, she found the street was closed due to flash floods. Since she knows her way around the city pretty well now, she tried different directions and different streets, but both routes leading into her campus apartment were closed due to street flooding. I had the phone on speaker mode so Jay could participate in the conversation as well.

She sounded near tears and she knew this would last a while as it was still coming down in sheets of rain. "Mom, I can barely see to drive it's so bad and I don't know what to do". Jay in a moment of wanting to comfort his daughter said "I'll come down and help you." "Dad, there's flooding everywhere, and you don't even know your way around and I don't need you getting lost. Plus, as hard as it's raining, it's nearly impossible to see unless you know where you're going. So, no, don't come down".

Jay told her to check into a hotel for the night. She immediately said "I can't afford that. I still have my books to buy for this next semester". Then she added "Hey, there is a convenience store over there. I'll just go there and sleep in my car."

I yelled in to the phone "Uh, helloooooooooooo. NOT a good idea there girlie! Murderers and pervs hang out at places like that overnight. Promise me you will stay away from there!" She laughed at me for being overly paranoid and said I watch too many cop shows, which is probably true, lol, but this is my baby we're talking about!

By this time she started to cry. She was exhausted, upset, and didn't know what to do. Jay again told her to check into a hotel for the night and told her that we would help her out by paying for it. Her comment was "I feel bad asking you to pay that much." Jay had the best comeback "There is never a price we could pay that would be too high for one of you kids, especially when it comes to your safety."

She agreed and called us back about 20 minutes later saying she found a hotel. She said the first place she went to was full from others pushed out/back because of the flooding, and the second hotel had just a few rooms left for the same reason. She was in her room, and all giddy because all they had left were king bed rooms, and yet she said she was so tired that she didn't care if all she had was a cot somewhere.

Well, she may not care, but we do. Thank you God for keeping her safe.

Caroline Peterson

The above picture is of Ashley & Chelsea on their graduation day two years ago. Pictured with them is their Kindergarten teacher, Caroline Peterson.

Today is Caroline's funeral. She went to Heaven after a long courageous battle with bone cancer. Throughout all the chemo and pain, she continued to smile and be one of the most positive people you could ever meet. She even continued to teach through this past school year.

I have always been so impressed with Caroline and her character, heart, and spirit, and I want to share a couple of reasons why and to give you insight into this special lady.

1. In Kindergarten, Ashley & Chelsea were in the same class. From the second day of school on, Mrs. Peterson was able to tell them apart and never once mixed them up. When I asked how she was able to do that she said that on the first day of school she pulled my girls aside during quiet time and talked to them. She said she studied their faces, voices, and expressions. "They really are different individuals who happen to look alike, and once you take the time to really look at that way, it's pretty easy to tell them apart." I so appreciated her doing that, when other teachers still couldn't tell them apart, all the way up through school.

2. When Ashley & Chelsea were in the NICU for their first two months, the nurses told me to sing lullabies to them. I was embarrassed to tell them that I didn't know any, so I sang "You Are My Sunshine" to them every day for 60 days and beyond. For the Mothers day tea during their Kindergarten year, the kids sang that song to the moms. I of course had tears running down my face, and when Mrs. Peterson asked me later why it affected me so much, I explained. A few days later the girls came home from school they said I had a present from their teacher. I opened it to find a picture of Ashley & Chelsea in a bright yellow frame with the words "You Are My Sunshine" on it. She included a note that said "When I saw this I thought of you."

3. Ashley & Chelsea had their tonsils and adenoids out towards the end of Kindergarten. When we arrived at the hospital that morning there were two soft squishy teddy bears in the room and a note was attached that said "Sometimes when you're scared, the best thing you can do is to get a teddy bear hug". Mrs. Peterson had come to the hospital and dropped those off the day before so they'd be there when the girls arrived. How many teachers would do that? Only the special ones.

When she developed cancer we returned the love by sending her a teddy bear with the same note, plus other notes the girls and I added. She said it made her cry to know someone did that and she couldn't believe we remembered that from so long ago. I told her that she was unforgettable in so many ways.

Caroline made it into 2 remissions, but sadly when it returned this last time it was very aggressive. We heard at her visitation last night that on one of her last days at school she told the children in her class to not cry for her. She said she wasn't scared because she knew she was going to a special place someday soon and she would get to see people she hadn't seen in a long time.

Heaven has been blessed with this newest angel. And she will be forever missed by those of us left behind.

Looking Forward

My biggest struggles with having Fibromyalgia (besides the obvious physical ones) are accepting that the old me is gone forever. She is never coming back and that's tough to accept. I look at pictures of me from a couple of years ago and I see that FM has caused me to age and gain back the weight I worked so hard to lose. I don't see someone whose hair has lost all it's curls and shine. I don't see someone who looks tired and worn. I see a sparkle in her eyes.

I miss her. A  lot.

I read a blog that had a great message that I must remind myself of daily:

My message to my new member was this: Until you learn to let go of who you were, and accept who you currently are, you will not be able to move forward. You will be stuck trying to get back to a “you” your body is no longer capable of being. By continually looking back, you are fostering frustration and anger rather than acceptance and possibility. Examine who you are now, come to terms with it, and then make a plan to move forward.

I need to say good-bye to the old me and let her go, so I can truly move forward. That's not going to be easy, but it's one of those things I have to do.

Everybody's Free

My niece Jenna's competition dance team did a dance to this song and it was amazing.


You can watch it here. It is 7 min long, but trust me when I say you will find it totally worth your time. Seriously.  If you prefer, I do have the lyrics printed below that you can read with it. Listening to it though will give you a visual as to how Jenna danced to it. Just sayin'. :)






EVERYBODY'S FREE
(to wear sunscreen)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '99... wear sunscreen.
 

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. 

I will dispense this advice now. 

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. 

You are NOT as fat as you imagine. 

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. 

Do one thing every day that scares you. 

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. 

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself. 

Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. 

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. 

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't. 

Get plenty of calcium. 

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. 

njoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

 

Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. 

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. 

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. 

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

 

Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. 

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. 

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. 

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. 

Respect your elders. 

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. 

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. 

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. 

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Everybody's Free

Me? A Mother-In-Law?

Today the house is quiet again. Jay is at work, Austin is at school, Chelsea is back at college, and Ashley is....on her honeymoon. Even as I type that last part, I still can't grasp it.

When she was here one day last week, she brought her favorite baby doll from her room to show Lance. "Baby Jessica" as she always called her, and she was still dressed in the old flannel nightgown Ashley always had her wear.

She propped Baby Jessica up on one the pedestal beside the plant in our dining area. She turned and said to Lance "Just think, some day maybe we'll be blessed with our own real Baby Jessica", and they both smiled.

Today, I sat at the table all alone, quiet with my thoughts. I just can't get my mind to grasp the thought that Ashley is now married. She is someones wife, someones daughter-in-law, someones sister-in-law. She's no longer just our daughter, and she'll never be just that again. That thought makes me sad.

But at the same time, I am so very happy for her. I can remember when Jay and I were on our honeymoon, and we were making all kinds of plans for our future. It was so exciting and full of possibilities. Knowing they are doing the same things makes me smile. I love knowing she is so happy.

I know I saw the wedding, casual and relaxed - just the way they wanted it. God answered our prayers and blessed us with sunshine, when there wasn't any before, and there hasn't been any since. He also held off the rain. The clouds started to move in as we packed up. They got closer as we all hugged and said our goodbyes, and as we all left town, the rain started to fall. Thank you God for holding it off just long enough.

I know I saw the reception, again, casual and relaxed. I saw the photographer snapping pictures, and I know I also took many pictures, and yet to grasp the idea that my little girl is married, seems impossible.

Maybe it takes time to come to terms with that. Maybe it'd be easier if they were coming home together to start their new life...not her coming back to finish college, and him going off to war...another thought that makes me sad. My prayers will continually be with them both.

The selfish part of me couldn't bring myself to change her name on my cell phone just yet. I left her maiden name, but I did add in her new married name in behind it. Baby steps.

I'll keep Baby Jessica on the pedestal for a while,and together she and I will come to know and accept that Ashley will never be just ours anymore. We'll also continue to be happy for her and pray for her as we've always done, but we'll also continue to include our new son in our prayers.

And then maybe someday, God willing, they will be blessed with their own real Baby Jessica, and then I'll have to get used to a another new idea: I will be a Grandma.

But I'm thinking that one will be easier. :)

Gimme A Head With Hair, Long Beautiful Hair

It was a sad, sad day yesterday. You know how you get an idea that you think sounds like a winner, but in reality...umm, not so much. That was me, and that's what my idea was like.

I decided to try going a little shorter with my hair. Emphasis on the word "little". Nothing drastic, just the normal trim plus an extra 1/2" tops. I've thought about trying it shorter for a while, but am much too chicken to make a major change, so it's all about baby steps. Only it turned out to be one GINORMOUS step. I don't know if she didn't totally get what I meant, or if she didn't get enough sleep last night (she has a 6 mo old baby), but today was not a home run kind of day for her....or me.

You see, I have no hair left. Ok, ok, that's a slight exaggeration. I mean, I do have some hair left. More hair than most military personnel - the male ones anyhow.

It looks like this:




I know....right????



Ok, I kid. It's not really THAT short. It's honestly more like this:



Ok, I know what you're thinking: "What's the fuss about you big baby? That's cute." And you are correct. It is cute. It's adorable! The difference is, I'm not in my 20's, I don't have that long graceful neck, and I haven't had just one single chin since the mid-90's. So that cute adorable haircut on her, looks like a blonde basketball enveloping my head.

What's that? You want me to take a picture of it to show you? No siree bob. Not gonna happen my friends. Cuz I no likey!!

I have decided that I am never going to get my hair cut ever again! At least not until my next appointment in 5 weeks.

Let me leave you with the words to the song I've been singing all day (well, once I googled them anyhow)...



Gimme a head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen

Give me down to there hair
Shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy

Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair

Let it fly in the breeze
And get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas
A hive for bees
A nest for birds
There ain't no words
For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder
Of my...

Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair

Reflection Time

So, have you missed me? LOL Sorry, I guess I should have mentioned that I have decided to take a little break from blogging. There's no deep soul-searching reason, it's just something I feel is right for me to do. But, no worries, I'll still be around reading blogs. Oh, and I'm participating in a couple of things, so I will be posting on those. I'll talk about those another time.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'll still be here off and on, I just won't be wowing you with my deep intellect. Hows that?

Before I go, let me show off my new haircut. What do you think of it? It might be hard to tell what it's really like in this picture, but lordy be I had already spent 20 minutes and about 47 shots trying to find one where I didn't blink, didn't have 4 chins, didn't lean too far forward and expose serious cleavage, or didn't give the deer-in-the-headlights look, so it's going to have to do.

Prior to last week was just below my shoulders, and now it's chin length. I had about 3" cut off.

I had been saying I was going to do it for a few months, but kept chickening out. So this time when I told her to cut it, she said "Are you sure?" about 5 times. Then when the moment came she said "Ok, are you ready? Do you want me to turn you around so you can't see it?" She was so sweet. But I said I was ready and then it was "snip, snip".

It has been working great actually, because all my curls seem to be disappearing (my stylist is thinking it could be one of my meds), so now I just have hair that is right about the length it is now that wants to curl under...which is why this cut works perfectly. I have very little to do with it. I blow dry it and most of it already curls under. Bad-a-bing, we're done in no time!

But, there is one thing I have noticed. My neck gets cold now when I go outside. No more scarves chosen based on cuteness, no siree, now it's all about warmth!

Ok, that's all I got for now. As I said, I'll probably pop in from time to time. I'm not sure how long this will last, but I imagine I'll know when the time is right again.

I'll see you around bloggyland. Oh yea, and Facebook me!

Happy New Year!

Glory to God in highest heaven,
Who unto man His Son hath given;
While angels sing with tender mirth,
A glad new year to all the earth.
~Martin Luther

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One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things. ~John Burroughs

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We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential. ~Ellen Goodman

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May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions. ~Joey Adams


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People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. ~ Author Unknown


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My New Years Wish For All Of You


"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11


I wish you all a blessed future full of hope in 2010.

Role Models

Am I the only one who is so tired of turning on the tv and finding more and more about Tiger Woods?

I made a comment on my FB page stating that he is proof that you should never look to someone famous as someone to look up to. I believe there are plenty of "regular every day" people who are much better role models for kids to admire.

I'm going to use my Ashley as a good example of this.

Ashley is a good student, but it does not come easy for her at all. She has to work hard for every good grade she gets. It's been this way since she was a young child and it continues now that she is in college. When she struggled in Chemistry last year, she took it upon herself to get a tutor and she met with her every week for the entire semester....that was time she gave up hanging out with her friends, who frequently told her to skip a session to do something with them.

She did all this while being on the college competitive dance team (3-4hr practices every day plus another 2 hrs for the past month to prepare for the state competition) and working every day, and still finding some time to go to the mall with her friends (priorities you know...ha). She also is a babysitter through a Nanny service, and is a mentor for a little girl at the elementary school she works at.

She called me the other night bouncing off the wall with excitement. She had to take a nursing placement test required by all students who are wanting to get into the nursing program. It's a lot of math and science on the test, which are two of Ashley's worst subjects. She set up extra tutoring sessions for both subjects to help.

Not only did she pass all her finals for this semester, she also learned that passed the nursing placement test. The other requirement to get into nursing is that you must have a GPA of at least 3.25, and she is well above that.

She is now officially a nursing student. Woohoo!

What she is doing/has done is not unique. She is not the only person in the world to accomplish this.

However, when I think of who I would have wanted my children to admire when they were little, I would have preferred someone like Ashley. Someone who would show them that if you want something bad enough, work hard, stay out of trouble, and ask for help when you need it, and you'll see that your dreams can come true. Someone who has a heart so big that they freely give of themselves in ways that help others.

Not someone who despite having a talent & millions of dollars, still obviously feels empty in some aspect of their life. Empty enough that they search to fill that void in inappropriate ways that hurts the people they care about the most.

Commercials

Am I the only one bothered today by some of the commercials out there. I am referring to the ones where adorable young children ridicule and belittle their wimpy parents and other adults.

I get so tired of ones like this. Why do they always have to be mouthy little kids, and why can't the parents ever stand up to them?

I have a great sense of humor, and I love to laugh, and I love funny commercials. However, these commercials are like fingernails being scratched down the chalkboard to me. I just don't find anything funny about them.

Here's a couple of newer examples that just don't set well with me.



The first one is the one for fish sticks. She asks her mom (with attitude) "What is this, minced? You feed me minced? You ever catch a minced fish?" When her mom goes out and buys her brand X fish, she says "Now that's more like it." What happened to the "there are plenty of starving children who would love that fish" speech that moms used to give? How about the line I always used "This is not a restaurant. You're choices here are take it or leave it."

The second one is for cereal, and the little girl argues with the stock boy at the grocery store and calls him "pathological", and the stock boy is actually afraid of her.

I understand they are trying to sell their products, and some might find them cute and funny.

But, I don't get it. I really don't.

Got Gas?

Last week I made a trip that had me driving alone on the interstate. Not a big deal. I've done it a bazillion times before. This was a normal trip on a cold, cloudy, (but no rain) day.

On my way home, I was listening to songs on my ipod. R-E-S-P-E-C-T by Aretha Franklin was on, and I was singing along trying to have as much attitude as she does, when I just happened to look down and this is what I saw:


You know that sound you hear when someone slides the needle across a LP record? That's the sound I heard in my head as my singing came to a screeching halt...and the panic set in.

You see, I was between cities. If I pulled off at the next exit, there is a town maybe about 5 miles or so off the interstate, which would be a pain, but, I had 10+ miles to go to the next city I'd get to on the interstate.

What to do? What to do? On the one hand, it'd be much more convenient to wait until I got to the next city. However, if I ran out before getting to that city, walking wouldn't be convenient.

I decided to pull off and go the 5 miles off the interstate, and I'm so glad I did. My Vue started sputtering a bit as I pulled up by a gas pump. Eek!

Aaaaaahhhhhh....that's better. :)

What do Teachers Make?

I've had a pretty rough feeling weekend and haven't taken even one second to think about writing anything. A woman I know sent the following to me and so for today I thought I'd share it with you:


We have some good Teachers in our country, who I don't feel get enough money or appreciation. For that reason, I love this:


The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about teachers: "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach."

To emphasize his point he said to another guest; "You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?"

Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, "You want to know what I make?" (She paused for a second, then began...)

"Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I make a C+ by a former D student feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor.

"I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for five without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.

"You want to know what I make?" (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table.)

"I make kids wonder. I make them question. I make them apologize and mean it. I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions. I teach them to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding isn't everything. I make them read, read, read. I make them show all their work in math. They use their God-given brain, not the man-made calculator.

"I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know in English while preserving their unique cultural identity.

"I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

"I make my students stand, placing their hand over their heart to say the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, One Nation Under God, because we live in the United States of America.

"I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life."

(Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.)

"Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with my knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant.

"You want to know what I make?

"I MAKE A DIFFERENCE. What do you make Mr. CEO?"

He went silent.

I Can't Imagine

Ashley called me this evening and said "Hey mom, make sure you watch the news tonight. My school is gonna be on it because of an attempted abduction."

It wasn't her university she was referring to, but the elementary school she works at every day. She is an after school assistant in the kindergarten/first grade room. When she got to work today she and the other assistants were called into a brief meeting and they were told what happened.

Apparently some guy in his 20's approached an 8 yr old boy and asked if he wanted a ride. When the boy said no, the man asked if he wanted candy. The boy took off running and told his parents when he got home.

How scary for that boy! Don't you just want to give him a big hug?

I just can't imagine living in a city. The other night when Austin had Homecoming, I made him call me after he dropped his date off at her house. That way I knew he was on his way home and was safe. I waited as patiently as I could for him to make the 10-15 min drive home before I could relax.

I just can't imagine having my child walking alone each day. I realize sometimes it's necessary, and I'm not judging anyone....I'm just trying to imagine how hard that would have to be to make that decision.

I also can't imagine having such a sick outlook as to have no value on human life...especially that of a child. To even think of attempting to kidnap a child for whatever reason is just beyond my comprehension.

And of course with my 19 yr old daughter having been mistaken for a junior high age girl several times in recent months, just knowing she has to walk across a parking lot to her car as the days get shorter and shorter makes me pray harder and harder.

Chelsea's New Apartment

On Monday we moved Chelsea to her new apartment, which was the exact same day that all other 3,852,087 students decided to move into the same building...at the exact same time....including Chelsea's new roommate "M".

Ok, I kid, there really weren't 3 million there, but when you have trailers, pickups, u-hauls, and cars filled to the brim covering every square inch of the street, parking lots and grass, it feels like the entire planet is crammed right there.

Our daughters are very social and through 4-H, FFA, and the past year of college, they have gotten to know kids from all over. I lost count of how many times Chelsea would let out a squeal or a loud "Oh my gosh!" and she'd take off running because she spotted someone she knew and just had to give them a hug immediately. I finally told her to just point the people out, I'll squeal and give them hugs and that way she can continue carrying boxes. :)

It was a beautiful day and no rain, which made the time go smoother. Plus, they have a ground floor apartment, so we were able to bring things in through the patio doors, which was nice.

Speaking of patio doors - did you have those in your first apartment? I know I sure didn't! Apartments are so much nicer now than they used to be. My entire first apartment was the size of Chelsea's living room. I could eat at my table, put my feet up on my couch, watch tv, and shave my legs in the shower all from the same spot in the 4' square room. Chelsea and M each have their own bedroom and their own bathroom as well. They each have a huge closet in their room, as well as having a utility closet (for vacuum, broom, etc), a big linen closet with floor to ceiling shelves, and a big coat closet right by their front door.

They even have a dishwasher and central air conditioning! Seriously, what college student NEEDS to have a dishwasher. Isn't part of the fun of learning is finding out what you can actually eat off paper plates, and what you can't? And isn't sweating to death in your room part of the growing up process? And don't get me started on the included cable and wireless internet.

We were concerned about the cost of the apartment and whether she could handle that much responsibility, but because it's on the edge of town and away from campus, it's up to 50% for rent and utilities than it is closer to campus, which is why she and her roommate chose this part of town. The city bus route that goes to every part of campus stops right at the end of her street, so they've been checking out the bus routes to find the best way to get to and from their classes. hhhmmm...guess she really has grown up and checked out everything.

When we were done moving the boxes in, Jay & Austin went back home, and I took Chelsea and M shopping for cleaning supplies and a few other odds and ends they were in need of (extension cords, those sticky things that hold up pictures without putting holes in the walls, etc). I watched moms with their sons or daughters who were obviously new Freshmen and they were going through these unchartered waters of the home furnishings department, and I remembered so vividly feeling the knots that were mostly likely in their stomachs right then.

I listened to moms tell their sons "Ok, we need to get you this item or that item, and the sons would be saying "for what?" and then mom proceeded to explain what a certain kitchen item was. The students had the "deer in the headlights" look, while the moms stayed focused on the list, so they wouldn't have to think about what was happening.

I couldn't help but smile as I watched them all zip back and forth through the maze of aisles trying to remember everything they knew they would probably forget. I can't believe that this was me a year ago. Feeling so overwhelmed at the task of getting two ready for college the first time. Wondering if my budget and my heart could take it all. Wondering if we'd all survive the transition, and wondering if the distance would pull us apart, which I now know did the opposite.

So if you were one of those moms I saw yesterday, hang in there. Trust me when I say I know how hard it is, and I have to admit, it's going to get harder. But if I can make it through, anyone can, and then next year you will find yourself standing in the rubbermaid section at Target with a grin as you watch the next batch of newbies come through.

Observations

Chelsea has lived in an apartment for almost the past year. Her lease was up on the 30th, but she didn't get to move into her new apartment until today (which we'll help her do later after she's done with work). Therefore she's been living at home for the past several days, or as she puts in on facebook: "I'm homeless".

I have LOVED having her home, but I have made some interesting observations while she's been here:

1. It's evidently a little disappointing to find that moving home doesn't mean that mom is there to wait on you hand and foot, and saying "Mom, I'm hungry, can you fix me something to eat?" doesn't get the desired response.

2. Adding one person back into the house increases the amount of laundry by triplicate.

3. All 3 kids had their bedrooms in our finished basement. Austin moved upstairs when the girls moved out, and Chelsea didn't like sleeping downstairs all by herself, so she's sleeping on the couch. Having someone bunk on the couch is a pain when I have my battle with insomnia and can't go sit and watch tv to pass the time.

4. Listening to kids fight over the remote is something I have not missed.

5. Listening to kids fight over the computer is another thing I haven't missed.

6. Cooking for 4 instead of 3 really is more than just "adding another potato to the pot" as the saying goes. It's amazing how one skinny girl can add to the grocery list.

7. Helping with college homework has been fun (who'd have guessed that one? Not me!).

8. Biting my tongue when she leaves the house instead of asking where's she's going, who's she's going to be with, and what time she's getting home, hasn't come as naturally as I'd have hoped.

9. Having a bathroom to myself is a luxury I have enjoyed more than I realized.

10. I love having a daughter here to talk "girl stuff" with.

What? No Sucker?

Yesterday, Austin & I made the annual trek to the doctors office for his athletic physical. For those of you with youngin's not in jr high/sr high school sports yet, let me fill you in. If your child plans to participate in any school sponsored sports, your child has to go to the doctor for a check-up to make sure they are healthy enough to participate in sports. This is one of the annual highlights of summer vacation. Oh, and most insurance companies don't pay for them.

I'm thinking band members should have to do the same thing. Seriously. Think about those poor kids carrying those big ol' tubas & drums in marching band. A 13 yr old with a hernia isn't going to help the school's image.

I can speak from experience on this because my Chelsea played the clarinet in concert band, but played drums in marching band. Not the cute little drum like the little drummer boy had. No, she had a big ol' base drum with handlebars that draped over her shoulders. This thing weighed more than she did so she had to lean back to keep from falling over. Plus, she was so tiny that you couldn't see her head over the top of the drum, and she couldn't see the majorette. She said she had to watch the drummers next to her to know when to move. Her drum was as big as the one in the picture. Well, it looked that big anyhow when strapped to her tiny 5'2" body. I was sure she'd be deformed by graduation, but thankfully that didn't happen.

Anyhow, back to the athletic physical. At the clinic my kids go to, there are so many kids needing them, that they bring in retired doctors who do nothing but perform athletic physicals all day long.

So Austin has to go into a room, strip down to his skivvies and put on a gown. He is so shy, that just doing that nearly has his face about to burn up from turning so red. He gets weighed and measured, blood pressure taken, and all that other stuff done by the nurse. Then in comes a strange man who (according to Austin from last years experience) asked dumb questions like what sports he plans to play or if we'll be going out for lunch when we're done here, all while he's pushing on Austin's lower belly checking for hernias and also checking other um "parts" in the extreme lower region. I likened it to the doctor asking what you're making for supper when you're in the middle of a pelvic exam. One word - awkward!

After that's over they have moms come in so the doctor can go over things with you, which sends Austin over the edge as soon as the doctor mentions things like "his scr*tum is intact nicely". Austin nearly breaks his neck trying to look anywhere but at me because we will both break into a fit of giggles due to Austin's extreme embarrassment of having to sit through this.

The doctor will sign a form and we will leave with the form to turn in at his first practice. Until hard times came upon us all, they used to hand out a free water bottle to each student, so now the end of the visit is anti-climactic. He didn't even get asked if he'd like a sucker or a sticker.

Austin made an announcement when we got in the Vue "Thank you God that I only have 2 more of these dumb physicals to go through and then never again".

Should I warn him that you have to have them if you do any college sports? Should I warn him that most employers require regular physicals that require you to turn your head and cough?

Nah, I think for now I'll just let him stay in his happy place.

We'll Be Busy With Family Tomorrow, So......

Happy 22nd Anniversary Jay.
I love you with all my heart.

July 11, 1987

Grow old along with me.
The best is yet to be.

How I Met Mr. Right ~ Part 2

For our first date, Jay called me and said his cousin was having a party for her birthday and he wanted to know if I'd go with him. My response was "Sure, why not." We got to the party and it was then that I found out his cousin was turing 9 (Happy birthday again Suzi) and his entire extended family was at this party. Talk about pressure! My first reaction was "LAME". But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it showed how important family was to him and that impressed me.

For the second date, Jay brought a big pizza to my place and we stayed in talking all night to get to know each other. Jay told me he was a student at Iowa State. When I asked his major, he said he was a business major with an emphasis in finance.

Ca-ching!! I had found my city guy, which is what I had wanted!!

What he forgot to mention was that his full major was AG business with an emphasis in FARM finance and that his plans were to go back home and farm when he was done. It's a good thing I didn't know that, because I would have never gone out with him again. Dating a farmer was NOT in my plans.

He took me home to meet his parents and that just about ended everything. This was in October. For this non-farming girl that meant nothing. But I now know that meant it was harvest season. I was going to meet his parents. I wanted to make a good impression, so I wore black dress pants, a nice shirt, boots and a white coat. We drove to his parents home and his mom was there and she sweetly offered me a pair of coveralls to put over my clothes. They aren't exactly flattering and I knew I would rather burn the clothes I was wearing than put a pair of those on, so I politely declined.

We leave the house and head to a farm field. Jay leads me over to a tractor and we ride out to the middle of a field where I meet his dad. They had a new implement so Jay left me in the tractor while he rode with his dad for a bit to learn about the new equipment. I sat there thinking "ok girl. Let's evaluate this situation. You are sitting in a tractor. A T-R-A-C-T-O-R." Not exactly part of our 5 year plan now is it?" The song "If They Could See Me Now" kept going through my head. I prayed and said "Dear God, I need a sign from you. Is this the guy you would have imagined for me? Remember, I'm trying to find my Mr. Right."

The very next day when I got off work I found a note under the windshield wiper of my car. It was from Jay. I won't go into all that it said, but the main part said "I'm sure I'm not what you may have thought of when you imagined your dream man. I don't have fancy things or drive fancy cars or live in a big fancy city, but I'm a man who loves you and would love the chance to prove to you that I am your Mr. Right."

That freaked me out! I had never told him about my prayer or my wish to find my Mr. Right!

We spent almost all of our free time together everyday. By the end of the second month of dating we knew we had something special....but it was about to be tested....He had yet to meet my parents ~ specifically, my dad. I love my dad, but when it comes to his daughters dating, he can weed them out pretty fast. :)


to be continued...

How I Met Mr. Right

Our 22nd anniversary is coming up soon, and I started thinking back on when I first started dating Jay. Let me take you all the way back to New Years Eve 1985 when I had just turned 22 years old.

A group of friends and I went to a nightclub. We reserved a table at the club the New Years Party. I had my big 80's hair going on and I wore a cute knitted dress that of course fell off one shoulder. My hair was up in a bright red banana clip and I had sprayed sparkles in my hair. My red lipstick matched perfectly to my red hoop earrings, bangle bracelets, and my red pumps.

I excused myself to the restroom at one point and I prayed right there in stall #3 "Please God. Please let me meet Mr. Right tonight. Please!!!"

Midnite came. My friends and I exchanged kisses and hugs. We shook the noise makers and blew into the horns. We raised a glass of the cheap nasty tasting champagne the club provided to each table. In my mind I again said my prayer "Please God. Let me meet Mr. Right tonight."

A few minutes later a guy named Mike asked me to dance. We talked while dancing and he seemed nice, but there was just no chemistry. Before he left Mike handed me his business card. He said he love it if I'd call him sometime. I said I'd think about it and he left. He was nice, but not "Mr. Right" I got frustrated and angry that it appeared God had not listened to my prayers at all.

When I got home I took off my coat and pulled my keys out of my pocket. Out came Mike's business card.

Mr. Mike Wright Investments

Mr. Wright

I laughed out loud. I felt that was Gods sense of humor showing me that he HAD heard my prayer, and in a way had answered it. This WAS Mr. Wright, but not my Mr. Right.

The year progressed like previous years. While waiting at the club one night for more friends to show up, a guy asked me to dance. He made me laugh and I had such a good time with him. After the dance was over he went back to his table with his friends. They were loud and obnoxious I felt that if those were his friends, he was probably just like them, so I mentally told myself to forget about him. Over the next few weeks, I kept my distance because of his loud friends, and I declinded his offers to take me out on a date.

The last Saturday night in August he came to the club and I agreed to go on a date with him. I then realized that after all this time I didn't even know his name.

He introduced himself and said: "My name is Jay."

...to be continued