Panty Hose

Ok, I gotta know...who was the super genious who said "Let's create a fabric so that women can stuff their legs into them like sausages. And let's market it in a way that makes them believe they are comfortable.
Ladies were we really THAT naive and gullible? Are we still?
I am the first to admit that I HATE panty hose. I try them from time to time with the hopes that putting them on will be like the day I woke up and realized I finally liked broccoli. Unfortunately that has never happened with panty hose. I've learned to enjoy many things in the past 10-15 yrs...cauliflower, fish, watching countless sporting events that my children have been in, but not once have I ever had a time when I could actually say I've enjoyed putting on a pair of panty hose. Not even close. Here's a nice visual of my last attempt not too long ago:

I pull out a brand new pair, still in the package and open it. I look back at the package because the teeny tiny pair of hose in my hands, must be toddler size. They can't really stretch to fit me can they? Giving them the same treatment I would before blowing up a balloon, I stretch them back and forth and in different directions. They aren't much bigger, but hopefully...like a balloon...they will now stretch easier. I sit on the edge of the bed and wad up one leg down to the toes, and I gracefully slide the fabric over my toes. From then on the gracefulness went right out the window! I stretch one leg up to my knee and then did the same on my other knee. I stood up and pulled them up to my waist. That was easier than I thought. I start to walk to the closet and find I can't walk! I look down and see the crotch of the panty hose still at my knees. "Well, crap". So I start over. I tugged, stretched, pulled, cursed and broke a sweat, but I finally got the crotch where it belonged...well, close enough at least. I lay back on the bed and wiggle and squirm as I maneuver the panty part up to my waist. I stand up and look in the mirror. First thought in my head...stuffed sausage with a muffin top. Yes my legs looked nice and firm, but that's because all the fat in my legs, butt and hips was smooshed all the way up to my waist and had exploded over the top...looking like a muffin top. Not exactly a sexy image.
Since I wasn't sure which size I would need, I had gotten two pair, so I wiggled and struggled out of the one pair and tried on the larger pair. I did have an easier time, but realized that I still had way too much panty hose legs left when I had run out of human legs to fill them. hhhmmm... what to do. I wadded up the extra leg parts and stuffed them up into the legs on my underwear. Voila, problem solved. I slid the panty part up and over my underwear, dreading the muffin top, which did appear, although it was more of a mini-muffin than before. That's when it occured to me..if I had more leg leftover, maybe I've got more panty left over. Sure enough, I did! I stretched and pulled and managed to squash the muffin top. The panty went all the way to my armpits! This was awesome!! I wadded up that extra and tucked it into my bra. wooohooo! Mission accomplished! As long as I didn't have to go to the bathroom, I'd be fine.
Of course, as I got dressed for church and was getting ready to leave, all of a sudden I realized I did infact need to go to the bathroom.
By the time I got that pair untucked from my bra and untucked from my panties and unstuffed the sausages, I had already felt like I had put in a major workout, so I basically said "forget it!" (well, I have to admit I used other words, but this is a family show) and I grabbed trouser socks to wear under my pants instead, vowing to never wear hose in my lifetime.
So once again...who was that genious who invented those? And why do we women put up with it?