Dieting sucks

Let's get real here for a second....the reality is: Dieting sucks. Big time! Anyone who says they feel so much better now that they are eating totally healthy is a big fat liar. If they were told that the donut they are craving actually only contains 10 calories, they'd be snarfing them down by the handfuls. If chocolate cake had 0 calories, they'd have it shipped in by the truckfuls. And if ice cream were calorie free...well, back up the barge cuz a load is comin' in!

Seriously, they can send people to other planets. For crying out loud they can even locate new planets. They figured out how to do whatever they did so we now watch movies on cd. They are finding cures for cancers and other diseases. So why in the hell can't they make the foods we actually WANT to eat healthy for us? Is that really too much to ask for?

Do you know how long it's been since I had a crispy creme? A tear comes to my eye just thinking about it. Ah the memories of that soft chewy blueberry taste (yes, blueberry..it's my memory so just be quiet). And Mr. Rib sandwiches at McD's. I used to get so excited any time I saw they were back. Now it makes me sad to know it's one more thing I can't have.

It's not fair that some people can eat crappy all day long and never gain a freakin' ounce. Exhibit A: my husband. He eats donuts and hot chocolate at Caseys almost every morning for breakfast. A couple of times a week, he and a buddy will go to the local tavern for lunch where they serve a variety of non-nutritious foods like pizza, greasy burgers & fries & chicken (with the skin on of course). Because our kids are active we are on the road most nights. I have actually given up cooking during sports seasons, because we're never home to eat the food anyhow. The only times I cook are on Wednesdays and Sundays when there are no games/meets/matches. So when we are on the road, DH eats at McDs, BK, or whatever fast food place we see along the way, or he'll get pizza or a hot dog at the game. He has never in his life drank a diet soda (unless he accidentally mistook mine for his and then you would have thought he just drank acid the way he carries on kicking and gagging).

Now let's look at my typical day of eating: For breakfast I'll have a product that resembles eggs and a product that resembles sausage, and I'll have a 12oz bottle of diet coke (that's my coffee). For snack I'll nibble on some oh so yummy celery. If I'm in the mood for a real treat I might add a dab of peanut butter to the celery, but watch out...heaven for bid you should add more than just a dab. I mean, you might actually taste the peanut butter if you do. Lunch will usually be some frozen diet meal or a salad. I hate salads during the winter (I want something hot to warm me up), so that's more of a summer meal. Snack consists of me knawing on wood while I try to fight off the cravings I get every afternoon. You think I'm kidding...look at the window ledge in my office! On the days I don't give in to the cravings (which rarely happens), I have some yogurt or a cheestick or some fruit. Supper on the road is sooooooo much fun. About as much fun as having an ingrown toenail stepped on. If we are lucky enough to be going where there is actually a Subway, I'll have that. But, because I can't have that bread, I make a total mess by re-wrapping it in a whole wheat wrap that I have brought along. If we don't pass a Subway, I eat a wrap I made at home or a salad I brought along. It is always so much fun to be chomping away on super exciting lettuce when your husband and son are eating cheeseburgers and fries that smell so damn good.

ARGH!!! Why do I have to be such a good mom. If I were a bad mom who didn't care about her kids, I would never have to worry about what to eat on the road. I'd eat at home every night and spend all my time in the gym and I'd complain how full I am after eating 7 pieces of corn.

I will continue to try to lose weight. Mostly because I've done it so long that I'm not sure I'd know how to NOT diet ya know? I will continue to endure torture as I hear my husband complain that's he lost yet another unexplained pound. I will continue to trudge on after taking my daughters shopping and listening to them complain that they can't find anything small enough to fit. I will continue to munch away on tasteless rice cakes and ignore the ooey-gooey goodness of something being advertised on tv.

And most importantly, I will resist the overwhelming urge to smack the crap out of someone who tells me who much they LOVE being on a diet.

And don't even get me started on exercise. We'll save that one for another day.