There is no way my son can be biologically related to me. It's just not possible. I don't do yucky. I don't do nasty. I don't do blech. And when it comes to Halloween I don't do scary or gross.
I loved having little girls when they growing up. They were things like bunnies, a princess, a bride, Dorothy (complete with stuffed Toto in basket). Cute, precious, adorable things like that.
When my little boy came along, I made sure we stayed away from scary and evil and he was fine with that. He was a football player, a cowboy, and even one year when he wore a black hooded cape, he had a mask with a long tongue hanging out that wiggled wildly when he moved his head, which always sent him into a fit of giggles, so that made it cute.
We have been done with trick-or-treating and costume buying for a couple of years, and I've been pretty ok with that. I don't need all that candy sitting around here tempting me anyhow.
This past Friday Austin came home with an invitation to a halloween party, costumes required. So, Saturday Austin and I headed to the mall to a halloween costume shop and I'm not even kidding when I say that all the costumes were either violent, sexual, or meant for toddlers. It was ridiculous. Even Austin was not impressed and he asked if we go somewhere else.
We headed into the big city to the Grandaddy of all party stores...Nobbies. They have halloween costumes for just about any theme you are looking for (and some you'd prefer to not see).
We saw so many costumes that I know he liked, but I made the cardinal mother sin by saying "Oh isn't that cute?" I knew better, but the words slipped out before I could stop myself. As soon as he heard me refer to an outfit as cute, we moved on, while I kicked myself.
Finally Austin announced that he wanted to look at hats. He just knew he'd find something cool in the hat section that he could build a costume on. He first tried on different accessories like funny glasses, mustaches, ears, etc. Then he moved on to hats. They have over 2 aisles of hats! Hats with giant hamburgers on top, cowboy hats, pirate hats, giant sombraros, crowns, pimp daddy purple velvet hats, clown hats, shiny hats, hats that made noise, hats that lit up, hats with hair, hats with fur, tall hats, short flat hats, hats with animals on them, or food, or weapons, or things that we found unidentifiable. We had been in Nobbies for close to an hour and we started to get a little silly by trying on all these different hats. Oh my gosh, we laughed so hard. Finally I said "Ok kiddo, you have to make a decision. Time to stop the silliness and get down to the business of deciding on what you will get". So he really started to look, and look hard trying to come up with an idea.
Finally he chose a hat. Actually it was a stocking cap...with a furry "dead" rat attached to it. He also chose a white chefs coat and some kitchen type tools. His costume......
"Road Kill Caterer"
Well, at least it's not Freddie Kruger.
Oh yea, I am so proud.