Monday, April 20, 2009

Wanna Come Out And Play?

The men in this house are trying to turn me into a man...a guy...a dude. It's partly my fault, but now I'm desperately treading water trying to not drown in all the testosterone around here.

I made the comment that I was feeling lonely. I'm home alone all day, and then on the few nights we do happen to be home, Jay & Austin are either out golfing together, or having a heated Wii tournament. They invited me to come along, but yea, well.....I used to golf with Jay in a couple's league a long time ago and when people we were playing with kept trying to correct my swing, I found myself trying to mathematically figure out how much alcohol my body would need to consume to get to where I didn't mind these people touching me, my clubs or my golf balls.

I found I couldn't count that high.

And it's not just golf, it's all sports. I'm not good at them. I never have been. They know this. Sports are out. The only sport I can kinda-sorta do is bowling. But only if you have those guards for the gutters. And even then I get beat by children, and I have young cousins telling me I really should practice more *oh snap*. When you are really, really bad at something, it tends to take the fun out of it. So I've tried to come up with other things that maybe we can do together.

I can't sing so karoke night is out, & I can't play an instrument, so joining a band is out too. I can't dance --which is ironic since I took 15+ yrs of dance lessons. Now I'm left looking like Steve Earkel from Family Matters.

I don't have a green thumb, so suggesting we do gardening, landscaping or anything like that together will cause plants around me to hurry up and die just so they can avoid the long term suffering.

The things that I honestly enjoy doing are things that would make Jay want to stab his eyes out to avoid doing them. Things like having a make-over, getting my nails done, shopping for clothes, shoes, purses. You know...girl stuff. Other than that, I don't really have any hobbies.

So. Here I sit trying to figure out something I can enjoy doing alone with my husband. Hey-hey, I don't mean that - let's keep this a family show!

So what are some things you and your husband enjoy doing together? Or things your whole family enjoys doing together.

Oh, and don't bother suggesting we read a book together. For those of you that know Jay, take a moment and imagine the look on Jays' face if I were to suggest "Honey, I think we should select a book and each evening we sit on the couch and read to each other." Yea...that's the look I'd get, and you know he'd ask if I had been sniffing laundry detergent or something.

For those of you who don't personally know Jay, this is a man who hasn't read an actual book since college. Sports Illustrated and Golf Digest are as close to books as he gets. So us reading together is definitely not going to happen.


Becky said...

My Love and I enjoy beating each other in card games. Spit, Spite and Malice, Phase Ten, even Yahtzee.

Pam from alertandorientedx4 said...

Do you like Pina Coladas? Getting caught in the rain?....
Seriously...we like to take walks together...but I have the same kind of problem.