We have been so lucky up to this point of the year, in that we haven't had more than a little dusting of snow this year. With my birthday being in early December, any year we don't have snow by the time my birthday rolls around, is a good year in my book.
Well, we got our first snow in the form of a blizzard this past weekend. It made for an interesting weekend to say the least.
First, our electricity flickered off and on, before it went completely off for about 12hrs. When I get cold, my muscles get tight and of course, my pain level increases dramatically, so I bundled up as if I were going out in the storm. I had yoga pants and sweat pants on as well as a turtle neck, heavy sweatshirt, my superthick (old and ugly) pink fuzzy robe, thick socks under my Ugg knock-offs, ear muffs and thick mittens. And I sat under a super thick quilt. I am so thankful no one took a picture as I'm sure I looked uber lovely. LOL
Twelve hours later our electricity came back on. Jay didn't think our furnace was working well enough, so he headed to the basement to work on it. He came back up to go get his saw and some duct tape (still not sure why). It was at that point that I asked people on Facebook to pray for us. Seriously.
Jay came back announcing he had found his power saw and he gave the "Tim The Tool Man" grunting noise. After letting out a couple of "Oops!" he shouted up the stairs asking Austin to come help him. As Austin slowly made his way to the stairs he looked back at me and whispered "Help me." I shrugged and said "If he yells 'Oops!' again, RUN!"
Now this morning we found we had no water, as poor Austin tried to take a shower before school, which meant he had to take a shower at the school. After spending the past two days trying to keep us (and the pigs) warm, Jay had had very little sleep or downtime. This latest situation just about sent him over the edge. I am convinced that if I had suggested moving somewhere warmer, he would have agreed.
Darn - I probably missed that opportunity.
Part of our line to our well has frozen, and they are working to get it thawed as soon as possible. Austin has his school's Christmas concert tonight and I'm really hoping they get the water fixed, or I will say a prayer for the poor unfortunate people who have to sit next to a showerless me. :-/
Today the sun is shining, the wind has gone down, and I have to admit that in spots, it does look kind-of-sort-of pretty, in a IWishIDidn'tHaveToDriveInIt kind of way. There is only one thing left to say:
Our daughter Ashley posted this on her facebook page. She didn't write this, but when talking to her about it, she said it totally fit with her feelings about her quick marriage before her husbands deployment, and how she has felt since he left.
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The truth behind deployment! - from the wife/girl friend perspective
"You don't know, but I'm the girl who cries every morning, and hopes every night for his safe return.
I'm the girl who drags herself out of bed every morning so that he will be proud of her when he comes home.
I'm the girl who lies in bed longing for him to be lying next to me.
I'm the girl who sits quietly during class because all I can think about is that next moment when he will safely be in my arms again.
You don't know, but I'm the girl with a million things to say, but not one will come out without the thought of him.
I'm the girl who checks my cell phone every five seconds just to make sure I haven't missed his call.
I'm the girl who stops and stares and wishes for him to return soon each and every time another man in uniform walks by.
What you don't know is that I know love on an entirely different level from most. I know the love that spans time and space; that love that most people are constantly searching for.
I'm one of the girls who waits months for a single kiss; a kiss that will make the months apart worth every second. A kiss where everything in the world stops and for what seems like eternity, you can see into that person's soul and know that without them, life is not worth living.
You tell me I don't even understand what love is, I tell you, I know more love in one homecoming, than most know in a life time. You don't know that every time he leaves part of me goes with him and part of him stays with me.
You tell me that people change and I tell you, true love will always remain constant and steady.
You tell me, I'm too young to be married, I tell you, and I'm too in love to not be.
You tell me you know how I feel and that you understand what I'm going through; you have no idea.
What you don't realize is that I understand the true meaning of not only love, but of longing and anticipation.
You don't see, but I'm one of the few who gets goose bumps as my heart fills with pride every time the National Anthem is played.
I'm one of the girls who will stand tall and stay strong on the outside, but be dying on the inside.
I am one of the girls who will make friends with complete strangers for only they can even begin to understand what I am going through.
You don't understand that I picture his face everywhere I go and that he is with me in everything I do.
You think I don't cry anymore, that I have gotten over it, but what you don't know is that I just hide it better.
You don't know the feeling the first time you hear the word deployment or the feeling of his hands as it slides out of yours for what could be the last time.
You don't know what that last hug or kiss means and how important that goodbye truly is.
I'm the girl you see standing alone in the corner of the airport watching quietly out the window with tears rolling down my cheeks.
I'm the girl you see walking by with a disheartened face staring silently at the ground.
What you don't know, is that I know true love and that no matter what obstacles we have to face, our love will live forever, that only we know.
You tell me that you support the troops; I tell you, I'm in love with one. I'm one of the silent, but outgoing; weak, but strong; scared, but grateful.
What you don't see is that without me, he is nothing and without him, I am nothing.
I'm one of those girls; the girl who stands tall behind her Marine, stands proud behind her Hero, stands strong behind her man, watching silently as he serves and defends our country."
The Iowa State Fair starts next week. This is a HUGE event, and people literally come from all over the world to visit. Here's a little trivia...did you know that a travel author listed our state fair as one of the top ten things to see and do before you die. Honestly...it's that big.
Our school system has now decided we will now be starting school BEFORE the fair is over. My nephew is scheduled to show his pigs on the first day of school. It's crazy!
Now some people might not think this is a big deal. But let's look at the big picture here. Let's be honest...Iowa is predominately an agricultural state. County & State fairs celebrate that fact. We don't have a Mt. Rushmore, or a Golden Gate Bridge, or even a Statue of Liberty. The State Fair and it's popularity is all we've got to celebrate.
I'll be honest enough to admit that I didn't fully appreciate the state fair before I had children who are raised in this lifestyle. Children who love this lifestyle. I have 2 girls who have actually shed tears over the fact that they only have one year left to show before their are too old. That's how much this is a part of them.
Farming is not just a job, it really is a lifestyle, and as I said, this is Iowa's predominant business & lifestyle. By all these schools deciding to start school before the fair is over, is to us, saying agriculture isn't important. That's a slap in the face to all the struggling farmers who are working so hard every day just to keep their farms going. Tell them it's not important.
We talked to Austin and told him that we would let it be his decision whether he started school or not right away, or if he waited until the fair was over. We also told him that we would support him 100% either way. Austin didn't even hesitate and he said "No way. I don't want to go. That's our fair, and I want to be there for all of."
Therefore, on August 19th, when children will be pulling on their brand new backpacks and heading back to our school for the first day, Austin won't be there. He will be with family, sharing and enjoying not only his lifestyle, but his heritage. And we couldn't be more proud of him for making that decision. Oh, and for the record, my nephew won't be in school either. We'll be cheering him on as he shows his pigs.
So we'll go to the fair and we'll enjoy ourselves.
We'll enjoy ourselves while walking through the baby pigs exhibit, even though we can see them at home.
We'll enjoy ourselves as we celebrate all the different species of livestock that are being exhibited...even cows, who may or may not have something against blondes. :)
We'll enjoy the Butter Lady and her Butter Cow. Yes, it is a cow entirely made of butter. She does the cow every year, but she also does other things such as Elvis, Michael Jordan, and other celebrities.
And we will enjoy being there cheering and celebrating at the big boar contest. This is a picture of last years winner who was owned by Jay's twins cousins (one is pictured). They also won the previous year, and are hoping to win again this year.
And we'll also enjoy ourselves one evening at the best concert of all the concerts (in my opinon) that will take place at the fairgrounds grandstands: Sugarland (weeeeee!!! I'm so excited!!)
Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Not only is it is right...It's tradition.
I'm sending out a prayer request today for my son-in-law, Marine Corporal Lance Jones.
Lance is being deployed early this morning to Afghanistan. As of right now, we are being told he will be there until sometime in December and then will be sent to Japan until next Spring.
We pray that God will protect him and all soldiers fighting on our behalf. Please keep them safe from harm and bring them home quickly.
We also ask for prayers for our Ashley. She has had to learn very quickly what it means to be a military wife, and while the past several days have been very hard enough for her, the next year will be equally hard. I'm so glad she has her faith and all her family to help give her the strength and support she'll need.
Almighty and eternal God,
those who take refuge in you will be glad and forever will shout for joy. Protect these soldiers as they discharge their duties. Protect them with the shield of your strength and keep them safe from all evil and harm. May the power of your love enable them to return home in safety, that with all who love them, they may ever praise you for your loving care. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord.
We have gotten a couple of texts and one phone call from Ashley & Lance since leaving for their honeymoon. The phone call was because of questions Ashley needed answered while they were trying to finish up paperwork the Military needed done.
They said they are having a great time and wish they never had to leave. Since they are in Hawaii, I'd be concerned if I heard anything else. lol
Anyhow, Ashley has posted some pictures from their trip on her Facebook page, so any of you who are friends with her, go check 'em out!
For those of you who aren't friends with her, I thought I'd let you see a couple that I especially like:
This first one was taken on their wedding night, before they left for Hawaii. Now that's what a young couple in love looks like. :) How adorable are these two?
One evening they went to a Polynesian Luau. Anyone who was on their honeymoon or celebrating an anniversary was asked to come up on stage.
Ashley told me they played a traditional Polynesian love song and all the couples were asked to slow dance to it.
Again I ask.....How adorable are these two? lol
I'm so happy to know they are having so much fun, as this is time they greatly need together. Ashley will fly back here to Iowa on May 10th. On May 11th, Lance will fly with other Marines to Afghanistan to serve and fight for our Country.
Today the house is quiet again. Jay is at work, Austin is at school, Chelsea is back at college, and Ashley is....on her honeymoon. Even as I type that last part, I still can't grasp it.
When she was here one day last week, she brought her favorite baby doll from her room to show Lance. "Baby Jessica" as she always called her, and she was still dressed in the old flannel nightgown Ashley always had her wear.
She propped Baby Jessica up on one the pedestal beside the plant in our dining area. She turned and said to Lance "Just think, some day maybe we'll be blessed with our own real Baby Jessica", and they both smiled.
Today, I sat at the table all alone, quiet with my thoughts. I just can't get my mind to grasp the thought that Ashley is now married. She is someones wife, someones daughter-in-law, someones sister-in-law. She's no longer just our daughter, and she'll never be just that again. That thought makes me sad.
But at the same time, I am so very happy for her. I can remember when Jay and I were on our honeymoon, and we were making all kinds of plans for our future. It was so exciting and full of possibilities. Knowing they are doing the same things makes me smile. I love knowing she is so happy.
I know I saw the wedding, casual and relaxed - just the way they wanted it. God answered our prayers and blessed us with sunshine, when there wasn't any before, and there hasn't been any since. He also held off the rain. The clouds started to move in as we packed up. They got closer as we all hugged and said our goodbyes, and as we all left town, the rain started to fall. Thank you God for holding it off just long enough.
I know I saw the reception, again, casual and relaxed. I saw the photographer snapping pictures, and I know I also took many pictures, and yet to grasp the idea that my little girl is married, seems impossible.
Maybe it takes time to come to terms with that. Maybe it'd be easier if they were coming home together to start their new life...not her coming back to finish college, and him going off to war...another thought that makes me sad. My prayers will continually be with them both.
The selfish part of me couldn't bring myself to change her name on my cell phone just yet. I left her maiden name, but I did add in her new married name in behind it. Baby steps.
I'll keep Baby Jessica on the pedestal for a while,and together she and I will come to know and accept that Ashley will never be just ours anymore. We'll also continue to be happy for her and pray for her as we've always done, but we'll also continue to include our new son in our prayers.
And then maybe someday, God willing, they will be blessed with their own real Baby Jessica, and then I'll have to get used to a another new idea: I will be a Grandma.
May I have your attention please! I have an announcement to make:
This Saturday I will become one of the most teased, picked on, loved, and in some cases, the most feared person on the planet. That's right, I will become a mother-in-law.
Ashley getting married!
I'll give you a minute to catch your breath and absorb that statement before I go on.
Ok, better now? Good. Here's how this has all come about....
Ashley has shown pigs at the state fair in FFA since she was in 9th grade. That first year she met a boy named Lance who was in 10th grade. He lived almost 2 hours away from where we live.
Innocent flirting went on over the next few years until he graduated and went into the military after high school.
When Lance came home for 6 weeks after his first year of serving, he and Ashley saw each other at a concert and started talking, and for the remainder of the 6 weeks, they were inseperable.
He is still in the Military and has been stationed in Okanowa Japan for the past several months, until he went to Hawaii recently for desert training. They have been training in the intense heat around a volcano (can you imagine???).
Lance and Ashley have maintained their relationship thanks to modern technology. They started out with IMing, then moved on to Facebook, and now also enjoy daily face to face interaction by way of Skype.
Ashley had told me that she and Lance have talked about getting married in 2011 when he is finished with overseas deployment. Then, about 3 weeks ago Ashley talked to us and said very causally "Um, well, you know how I said we were talking about getting married in 2011? Well, we've moved it up to the 24th of this month." To say you could have heard a pin drop is a complete understatement.
Lance talked to us to explain why the rush. On May 11th, Lance will be deployed to Afghanistan and he'll be there until December. Lance is a Marine and his duty will be to uncover land mines. He (and others) will walk with metal detectors part of the time, and then there's other tools they use other times. It's obviously VERY dangerous work.
Lance has talked honestly and frankly with Ashley about the risks. He told us "I know you both love Ashley and take great care of her as needed, but I also love her very much and I want to have the opportunity to be married to her and to take care of her. If I marry her now and anything happens to me over there, I will be able to die knowing that she will receive military widow benefits, which means I'll still be able to take care of her. That gives me a lot of peace."
How do you argue with that?
He is only home for 10 days, and then he has to go back to Hawaii to finish his training and then he'll deploy from there.
Lance and Ashley will be getting married this Saturday, April 24th, 2010 in a small park nearby. Thankfully Lance planned ahead and reserved a shelter house, because unfortunately it sounds like there is a good possibility for rain. (boo! hiss!)
Afterwards they will go to a hotel for the night near the airport, and then will fly out early Sunday morning, because, as I said, Lance has to finish his training. Ashley is done with classes for the summer on this Friday, so she is going to fly to Hawaii with him and they will have time together in the evenings for a honeymoon.
On May 10th my daughter will fly back to Iowa, and the following morning my son-in-law will fly to Afghanistan.
I can't believe the weekend is over already. Guess that's a sign that it was a good one, huh? :)
Friday night, Jay and Austin traveled to the high school basketball game. I stayed home, because on Saturday we went to Ashley's college to watch her dance during their basketball games. It seems that every time they have had a home game, the weather was bad enough that we were forced to stay home.
I tend to struggle with my pain levels if I try to do outings 2 days in a row, and since I was wanting to make it to Ashley's game, I stayed at home on Friday.
Last Tuesday Gabby had surgery for bladder stones and since then, she has had complications. We took her to the vet on Friday, and then again on Saturday morning on our way to Ashley's game. She has been there ever since.
Sunday morning found me at home. I had planned to go to Church, but the vet had said she was going to call me in the morning and it's possible Gabby would be ready to go home. So I waited and waited. I finally got a call at 2:30pm. P.M I didn't realize she was on college student time. :-/ gggrrr.
The rest of Sunday found me working in my old office. For several years it was the "hub" for me to be able to be as organized as possible. I was a 4-H leader and had all the papers and records for it, so I could plan meetings and activities. I ran the boarding kennel and had all client records and other necessary information. I had helped with writing Sunday School curriculum, so all that was in there. And, tons upon tons of scrapbooking "stuff". If it was related to scrapbooking, I had it. And lastly, there was all the school supplies and other office related items.
I am no longer a 4-H leader. I no longer own/operate the kennel. I no longer help write curriculum. And I finally got honest with myself and admitted that I will never do any scrapbooking. It's obviously not due to a lack of items. It's not due to a lack of time anymore. It's due to one simple fact: I have no desire to scrapbook. None. Nada. I am content to just put pictures in albums and call it good. And I am ok with that. Therefore I gave all my items to a couple of friends of mine who have young children. They both love to do all that sort of stuff, so I know they'll get good use out of everything.
I'll let you know later why I did all that cleaning/sorting. Care to make any guesses? LOL
Well, I think I'm finally coming out of the clouds I've been in. I've been feeling really overwhelmed for the past couple of months and I think all the "stuff" that goes along with the holidays was just more than I was ready for.
Since getting diagnosed with Fibromyalgia a couple of months ago I feel I am finally coming to terms with it. I'll be honest enough to say that I have been really angry about it. I was happy to FINALLY have the correct diagnosis, but I was also first in denial. This was not happening to me. I would take a couple of pills, or get a shot, and be done with it....no big deal I've always been one that believes knowledge is power. The more I read about FMS, the more I learned...and most of it, I didn't like.
For example...the part that says this is something I will have to deal with forever.
...and the part that says I need to change my lifestyle to adapt to my limited abilities.
...oh yea, and the part that says pain will be a part of my life that I will need to learn to tolerate.
Good times.
So I cried...a lot. I still do occasionally, but not nearly as often. Mostly it's out of frustration. I don't like being told I can't do something, even if it's by my own body.
I also got angry. And I yelled out "I don't want to do this anymore!", "It's not fair!" "I hate this!"and other things I won't put here.
Then I mourned what was gone, and what would never be again.
And slowly, I began to accept my new lifestyle...just as anyone with any disease or syndrome must do.
One day last week I realized how tired I was of being sad and just going through the motions of living. That's not how I wanted to live. So I sat on my bed and had a good long talk with God. I told him all my fears and frustrations and asked for guidance on how to make the most of my life.
Since that conversation I have had a sort of metamorphosis going on. I'm learning and growing and I'm finding things I'm thankful for.
I've learned that it's ok to ask for help. I don't HAVE to do everything on my own. Asking for help is still hard for me, but it's getting better...thanks to my wonderful understanding husband.
I've learned that I must embrace my new limitations and to do what I need to do to keep me from having a lot of pain. We have reorganized the kitchen so that the items I use daily (or most often) are between hips and shoulder level. No stooping, bending, or stretching to reach things and that keeps me from getting pain. I have a stool with wheels to sit on when cooking so I can avoid the pains in my back that I get from standing very long. It's all about adapting and finding what works for me.
I've learned that having Fibromyalgia can be very lonely if I don't reach out. On my "bad" flare days I really don't talk to anyone because I can't even think about anything but the pain. But on other days it gets lonely sitting down for most of the day by myself. I'm not big on tv, and I can only read so much in one day. If the guys are gone in the evening, then I'm alone at that time too. I'm learning to reach out. I have found a couple of wonderful online support groups and then of course, there's Facebook. Not only do I interact with the people I'm friends with, but there are support groups on there I enjoy as well.
I've learned that stress is bad for me. It tenses my muscles and causes me great pain. I'm learning to avoid stress and to release it. This is another tough one for me, but it is getting better.
I've also learned that some people just don't get it. Not only do they not understand Fibromyalgia, but they have chosen to not learn about it. There are those who don't even believe it's real. Let me tell you it IS very real. But, due to ignorance, ignorant comments are made, or they think you're just being lazy, or they don't understand that if you have to cancel an outing that it's not by choice. Hurtful things are said, but that goes along with the "stress" category and I just can't afford to let it get to me. I have to let it go and give it up to God. I'm learning that it's their problem - not mine, and there's nothing I can do about that.
Lastly, I've learned that life can still be great - different - but great. Sure there are things I can't do anymore, but I'm choosing to focus on the things I can do, and the positives that have come about since getting diagnosed.
The burden I had been feeling is being lifted. As I learn and grow, I'm starting to feel happiness again, and I have missed that so much. There is more to learn by me, and more research needs to be done in labs to find the root cause of this disease, so that someday a cure can be found as well.
If you want a glimpse into what having Fibromyalgia feels like, try this example...imagine you have the flu. Think about the aching you feel all over. Think about the headache. Think about how all you want to do is go to bed. Now, attach a spring-loaded clothes pin to your index finger at the top (keep thinking about the flu symptoms while you do this). Keep the clothespin on your finger for 30 minutes. What you are feeling is what the pressure point feels like. There are up to 16 pressure points and some have pain in all 16 at the same time. And the pain and flu symptoms can be, and usually are, daily.
I also encourage you to watch this video. It pretty much says it all...
That was the statement our children used to say at each birthday and each Christmas. When they were done opening presents they always stuck out their bottom lip to be sure we knew how sad they were. Their shoulders would sag and they would proclaim "But I want more".
I remember thinking "How do we change this? We are raising horriby selfish children!" While I did/do love shopping for gifts for them, I don't believe they are over-indulged in any way. Yet, we still heard "I want more".
Last night Ashley & Chelsea and I were talking in the living room and the conversation went like this:
Chelsea: Well, that's it. Christmas is over. Ashley: Yea, I wish there was more. C: I know. It's never get enough. Dena: Are you serious? Not enough? Shall we examine what you got for Christmas? You really think it's "not enough"? If that's true, then we've failed as parents." C: Wow, Mom, chill. A: Yea, just relax. That's not what we meant. D: Oh Really? Then explain it to me. What did you supposedly mean? C: Just that now that it's over, we go back to school and work. A: Yea. I love school and all my friends there, but I like being home here too, and I wish it could last longer than just a couple of days. C: Yea. We want more. Not more presents, but more time at home. More having fun together and none of the stress. Get it? A: Even when we were kids. You get all excited about Christmas coming...the time with family, relatives, food, and presents, and then all too fast it's over. D: I get it and I'm really sorry for thinking differently.
I did get it, more than they knew, and it made me smile to know they got it...even as kids. It's wasn't about the presents at all.
And as I stood at the door this morning waving good-bye to Ashley who was headed back to work (and staying at her dorm), I couldn't help but stick out my bottom lip and think "But I want more".
Have you heard of this? Am I the only person in the world who had NOT heard of it?
Yesterday both Ashley & Chelsea came home for our annual viewing of the movie "Hocus Pocus", which is basically a spoof on Halloween and story of witches. We have watched it a million times and can almost say it word for word. We all start giggling before a funny part comes and of course there are classic lines that we all have to say together. It is so much fun, and I loved that they both readily agreed they wanted the tradition to continue.
Ok, back to Skype....
After the movie was over Ashley asked if she could use my laptop so she could talk to her boyfriend who is a marine. He is currently in the Phillipines and she said she talks to him as often as he is able to, and he was free for a short time yesterday.
I thought she meant she was going to instant message/chat with him, and she stated that she couldn't believe I didn't have Skype on my computer yet.
I honestly thought Skype was some kind of virus protector, so I smugly stated that I already have 3 different ones on here thank.you.very.much.
He wasn't on, and when she checked her email she saw he actually wasn't going to be available now for another hour, so my girls decided to introduce me to the wonder of Skype. Within seconds we were actually talking and seeing "Anna" our exchange student from Spain that I haven't seen in over a year. I had her and my girls in stitches as I just kept saying "Oh wow! That's Anna! Anna it's you...on my computer!" It is close to her birthday, so we sang Happy Birthday to her and the next thing we knew her entire family was crowded around the screen so we could see them as well and say hello. Then they sang the Spanish version of Happy Birthday so we could hear it.
It was one of the most fun 30 min periods I have had in a while...and best of all...Skype is FREE! Yes, free!
I was talking to my girls after we ended our conversation with Anna, about how much things have changed in a relatively short period of time. I went to summer college classes in Colorado less than a month after graduating high school. I was 17 and on my own for the first time. I remember getting so homesick, because I missed talking to my family and my friends every day.
Ashley asked why I didn't just call them. Remember having 1 phone in the hallway of the dorm and everyone had to wait till it was free to use it? I made a call every Sunday evening and that was it. Yes we sent letters, but they were too few and far inbetween.
Today, cell phones make it possible for you to talk to or text people whenever you want. And with Skype, the world is getting smaller and smaller. Fun times.
I had to miss the Sugarland concert tonight, and my sweet sweet girls have been sending me messages all day about how much they wished I was able to come, which touched my heart so much.
Then, this evening they sent me a text message from the auditorium:
"Wish You Were Here"
They know how much I love having pictures of them since they aren't here every day anymore, and it was such a sweet surprise that they thought of me and thought to do this for me.
Then, they called me during the show. The song "All I Wanna Do" was being performed and they know that's my favorite song (it's even the ringer on my phone). They said they wanted to be sure I got to hear it.
It's been one year since Ashley & Chelsea left for their freshman years at college. Granted, Chelsea didn't officially move out until a couple of months later, however, between classes, work & a boyfriend, she was only home to sleep.
In this past year there was a lot of changes. A lot of heartbreak and tears. Looking back, losing them to adulthood hit me harder than I ever imagined it would. I realized just how much I enjoyed being their full-time mom and it hurt when they left. I honestly didn't know if I'd ever get over it. While I don't believe I have yet completely, I am much better than I thought I might be at this time.
While I still miss them very much (thank heavens for cell phones, text messaging and the Internet!), I have come to honestly realize that there are some positive things I have noticed. Such as.....
1. I really enjoy having a bathroom all to myself. It stays so much neater.
2. We go through a lot less toilet tissue with me being the only girl in the house.
3. I haven't had a single item from my make-up drawer or jewelry box disappear in the past year.
4. I don't have to worry about them laughing hysterically because they put one or two songs on my ipod without me knowing it, which leads to me jumping out of my skin as I turn my ipod on and hear a loud heart-thumping dance beat that I wasn't expecting to hear.
5. Our grocery bill is so much smaller when we are only feeding 3 of us, and not 5 plus other teenage girls (don't let them fool you - they all can eat a LOT).
But there are other negatives I hadn't thought of. Such as....
1. I am not current on the latest music trends since I don't have a house full of girls dancing and singing to the radio in the family room. I heard a song not long ago that had "Boom Boom Pow" in it. At least it's nice to know that songs that make absolutely no sense are still around (remember "Purple People Eater" or "Wooly Bully"?).
2. I'm not sure if my clothes are geeky or not since no one is here to tell me. My guys could care less about that stuff.
3. I am no longer up to date on who is dating who at the high school, who likes or doesn't like who, who is fighting with who, etc. I've tried asking Austin, but all I get is an "I dunno".
4. I don't have my live-in stylists redoing my hair for me when I can't get it right.
5. One of them loved hugs, but the other one also indulged her mom and let me hug her as much as I wanted to. I miss the hugs.
But, through it all, when I see the changes, the heartaches, the fears and the challenges my girls have had to face in the past year, they have faced them much better than I think I would have at 18. They have developed such a maturity that can only come from enduring life lessons and I am so proud of the young women they are ---even though a part of me will always miss my little girls.
I pray that God will watch over them through their sophomore years and beyond.
I posted on Facebook last week that I was looking through my cookbooks to find recipes to make for the fair. I wanted things that I can freeze in individual containers so the kids can thaw them out and reheat them in the camper. Tends to help save money by doing that when you are camping at a State Fair for 2 weeks.
My mom mentioned a particular recipe, Cavatina, and I already knew I would be making that one, because when I asked my kids what they'd like, all 3 answered with that recipe. It's been a favorite of mine for many years, and of my kids also.
Chel from Leaving A legacy, and 2 different non-blogger friends asked what it was, so here's the recipe ladies. If anyone decides to make it, be sure to let me know what you (and your families) think!
Boil all the noodles together. Put 1/2 the noodles in the bottom of a large baking dish.
Combine the ground beef and pizza sauce.
Pour 1/2 of the meat mixture over the noodles.
Top with 1/2 of the mozzarella cheese.
Put remaining noodles, sauce & cheese in the dish in the same order as before.
Bake at 350* for 20 minutes.
Tips:This recipe makes a LARGE amount. When I normally make it, I put it into 2 pans and freeze one. This dish freezes well.
If I am freezing it, I will add in 1 extra can of sauce, so it's not too dry when reheating. I don't think it's too dry, but my family prefers more sauce.
If you don't tell your family, you can substitute ground turkey for half (or all) of the ground beef, and they'll never know the difference (but you didn't hear that from me *wink*).
On Monday we moved Chelsea to her new apartment, which was the exact same day that all other 3,852,087 students decided to move into the same building...at the exact same time....including Chelsea's new roommate "M".
Ok, I kid, there really weren't 3 million there, but when you have trailers, pickups, u-hauls, and cars filled to the brim covering every square inch of the street, parking lots and grass, it feels like the entire planet is crammed right there.
Our daughters are very social and through 4-H, FFA, and the past year of college, they have gotten to know kids from all over. I lost count of how many times Chelsea would let out a squeal or a loud "Oh my gosh!" and she'd take off running because she spotted someone she knew and just had to give them a hug immediately. I finally told her to just point the people out, I'll squeal and give them hugs and that way she can continue carrying boxes. :)
It was a beautiful day and no rain, which made the time go smoother. Plus, they have a ground floor apartment, so we were able to bring things in through the patio doors, which was nice.
Speaking of patio doors - did you have those in your first apartment? I know I sure didn't! Apartments are so much nicer now than they used to be. My entire first apartment was the size of Chelsea's living room. I could eat at my table, put my feet up on my couch, watch tv, and shave my legs in the shower all from the same spot in the 4' square room. Chelsea and M each have their own bedroom and their own bathroom as well. They each have a huge closet in their room, as well as having a utility closet (for vacuum, broom, etc), a big linen closet with floor to ceiling shelves, and a big coat closet right by their front door.
They even have a dishwasher and central air conditioning! Seriously, what college student NEEDS to have a dishwasher. Isn't part of the fun of learning is finding out what you can actually eat off paper plates, and what you can't? And isn't sweating to death in your room part of the growing up process? And don't get me started on the included cable and wireless internet.
We were concerned about the cost of the apartment and whether she could handle that much responsibility, but because it's on the edge of town and away from campus, it's up to 50% for rent and utilities than it is closer to campus, which is why she and her roommate chose this part of town. The city bus route that goes to every part of campus stops right at the end of her street, so they've been checking out the bus routes to find the best way to get to and from their classes. hhhmmm...guess she really has grown up and checked out everything.
When we were done moving the boxes in, Jay & Austin went back home, and I took Chelsea and M shopping for cleaning supplies and a few other odds and ends they were in need of (extension cords, those sticky things that hold up pictures without putting holes in the walls, etc). I watched moms with their sons or daughters who were obviously new Freshmen and they were going through these unchartered waters of the home furnishings department, and I remembered so vividly feeling the knots that were mostly likely in their stomachs right then.
I listened to moms tell their sons "Ok, we need to get you this item or that item, and the sons would be saying "for what?" and then mom proceeded to explain what a certain kitchen item was. The students had the "deer in the headlights" look, while the moms stayed focused on the list, so they wouldn't have to think about what was happening.
I couldn't help but smile as I watched them all zip back and forth through the maze of aisles trying to remember everything they knew they would probably forget. I can't believe that this was me a year ago. Feeling so overwhelmed at the task of getting two ready for college the first time. Wondering if my budget and my heart could take it all. Wondering if we'd all survive the transition, and wondering if the distance would pull us apart, which I now know did the opposite.
So if you were one of those moms I saw yesterday, hang in there. Trust me when I say I know how hard it is, and I have to admit, it's going to get harder. But if I can make it through, anyone can, and then next year you will find yourself standing in the rubbermaid section at Target with a grin as you watch the next batch of newbies come through.
Chelsea has lived in an apartment for almost the past year. Her lease was up on the 30th, but she didn't get to move into her new apartment until today (which we'll help her do later after she's done with work). Therefore she's been living at home for the past several days, or as she puts in on facebook: "I'm homeless".
I have LOVED having her home, but I have made some interesting observations while she's been here:
1. It's evidently a little disappointing to find that moving home doesn't mean that mom is there to wait on you hand and foot, and saying "Mom, I'm hungry, can you fix me something to eat?" doesn't get the desired response.
2. Adding one person back into the house increases the amount of laundry by triplicate.
3. All 3 kids had their bedrooms in our finished basement. Austin moved upstairs when the girls moved out, and Chelsea didn't like sleeping downstairs all by herself, so she's sleeping on the couch. Having someone bunk on the couch is a pain when I have my battle with insomnia and can't go sit and watch tv to pass the time.
4. Listening to kids fight over the remote is something I have not missed.
5. Listening to kids fight over the computer is another thing I haven't missed.
6. Cooking for 4 instead of 3 really is more than just "adding another potato to the pot" as the saying goes. It's amazing how one skinny girl can add to the grocery list.
7. Helping with college homework has been fun (who'd have guessed that one? Not me!).
8. Biting my tongue when she leaves the house instead of asking where's she's going, who's she's going to be with, and what time she's getting home, hasn't come as naturally as I'd have hoped.
9. Having a bathroom to myself is a luxury I have enjoyed more than I realized.
10. I love having a daughter here to talk "girl stuff" with.
Jay has an Aunt that lives out of state, so we don't get to see her very often. With the help of online photo storage sites, we can help keep her and other family members updated on what the kids are doing and other "goings on" in our life.
Aunt P, always replies back thanking us for sending her the link for the pictures. But bless this woman, she cannot spell to save herself....and she freely acknowledges this from what I have been told.
I uploaded pictures a couple of days ago from the fair to share with Aunt P and others, and she replied back as usual, thanking me for sending the link. She also made a congratulatory comment about the fact that several of the children (all with the last name of Heeren) including my own, were "winners". However, due to a unique misspelling, it totally changed the sentence. Her message said:
"Thanks for sharing. Congrts. I heard all the Heerens were sinners."
The following explains why there are so few pictures of my mother & my sisters and I...and this year our poor sister-in-law was introduced to the chaos (I hope you aren't too traumatized Melissa).
Attempt #1: They asked for tallest to shortest, so my sister Theresa and I stood in the back - guess they meant they wanted us in front.
Attempt #2 - "No really, this will be so cute". Whoever said that needs bopped. Just what I want, a picture with my big ol' balloon-sized head poking out to the side, with an "I hope no one notices I've been sneaking some wine" squinty look in my eyes. (Seriously - why is my head look so big?)
Attempt #3 - Ok, you stand here. No wait, why don't you come over here. Yankmom over here. (I get the giggles because one sister points and tells Melissa to stand over there...Melissa is legally blind. She doesn't know where you just pointed to, and at this point I'm losing it!!)
Attempt #4 - Here this'll be fun. Let's lift up our mama who's deathly afraid of heights. Yea, that'll be good times and oh so cute to have her "green" and crying like a girl in a photo!
Attempt #5 - Comments (inter-mixed with extreme laughter) were as follows: PUT ME DOWN!
I hope she doesn't have gas!
Goodness she's heavy. How much did you eat today mom?
Oh good, Melissa's helping with the heaviest part - her feet.
Who's idea was this?
PUT ME DOWN!
Attempt #6 - Ok squeeze in close together. No closer, closerrrrrr....
Attempt #7 - Got it!! Finally!! Whewwwwwww...
L to R: my sister Debi, Me, my mom Sandi, my sister-in-law Melissa & my sister Theresa
