I had a doctor appointment yesterday for the fibro and it went pretty well. She asked how things were going and how I'd been feeling. I probably should have warned her that it was PMS week, because all I got out was "It's been a challenge" and I broke into tears. She was so sweet though and we talked in more detail about what I meant by "challenge".
I explained that it is more about the frustration I feel than anything. 18 mo ago, I was working out in a gym at least 3 times a week, and working with a trainer. I was also running on the elliptical for an hour a day. Now there are days when I am doing good to be able to walk from one end of my house to the other....and that's so frustrating!
I told her that Christmas shopping hasn't even been that much fun this year because I go to the mall walk through part of one store and then have to go out in the middle and sit down for a while. Also, I used to walk so fast that Jay would complain about it, now I get passed by elderly people with the walkers on wheels.
The last thing I said while having tears running down my face was "mostly I just feel like I am too young to feel this old".
This sweet doctor of mine (who I am now convinced was hand picked for me) asked if I was a Christian woman. When I said yes, she said "As women, wives, and mothers, we tend to run on ultra-speed all the time. We have a million things we feel we must do, and rarely do we ever ask for help. Did you ever think that perhaps God is telling you it's time to slow down and enjoy what's around you instead of always looking ahead to what you need to do next. When your in pain and you have to sit down, look around. Maybe there is something He wants you to see...something you would have otherwise missed. When you're walking slowly through a store, listen to the songs playing over the speakers. Maybe He knows one of your favorites is playing. I guess what I'm saying Dena is, maybe God's trying to help teach you patience."
Through my tears I started to laugh and said "Well He should know me well enough to know that I don't have the patience for patience.", which gave her a good laugh too.
So, I'm going to take her advice and take time to smell the roses, and while I do that I'm going to say a prayer of thanks for my dear sweet Dr. B.