Being in my 40's, peri-menopausal, and (this week) experiencing raging PMS, emotions and tears are always going to be right there, ready to spill over. Add in a holiday like Mothers Day, and the fact that I was having to come to terms with the fact that my baby, my youngest child, the last baby I would ever have, was turning 16, and my emotions were just begging for an excuse to erupt!
Such was the case on Sunday.
Let me back up....last year at this time we were neck deep in craziness. In a 3 week period we had Austin's confirmation, Austin's birthday, Ashley & Chelsea's graduation from high school & Jay's birthday. I still can't believe I didn't totally lose my mind. With Austin's birthday right inbetween confirmation and graduation I begged him to let us celebrate his birthday AFTER those events were over. He's such a great kid that he said that would be fine.
However, as happens sometimes, we got busy with other things afterwards and he never did get a birthday party. Oh the mother guilt I felt! So this year I was determined we'd do something.
With his golf team schedule & school concerts, there was just no time this week to celebrate, so we went out to eat on Sunday instead. Yes, it was also Mothers Day, but I told Jay before we left for the restaurant "This is to be Austin's party day, not Mothers Day". I don't want anything to take away from his special time, so don't even mention Mothers Day.
We had a great supper. My parents were there, both girls were there from their colleges, and we had great food (we even brought a cake).
My parents went home. The girls went back to college. We went home, and then Jay & Austin went to play golf. I sat there and thought "Wait a minute....they never gave me anything for Mothers Day".
I don't mean that as I'm materialistic. One of my favorite gifts is a "poster" one of my girls made for me several years ago that stated I was the best mom ever, so it's not that I wanted some expensive gift. But just to know they did something to show their love for me would have been nice. But I got nothing, and I was hurt.
Remember the volcano I mentioned earlier? It erupted. All over the couch and living room floor. I cried and I cried and I cried, and it was ugly. I kept thinking over and over "I can't believe they didn't think enough of me to get me anything. Not even a bouquet of dandilions from the front yard!" and then I'd cry some more.
Jay and Austin came home from golf around 9pm, and I said nothing. I was still in shock and too hurt. Jay left the room and came back with a box he gave to Austin. Austin said "Thanks. I wondered where you put it." and he walked over to me "Here mom, this is for you from my sisters and me. Happy Mothers Day."
"What? You got me something? You DID think of me? You didn't forget?"
And the ugly cry was back...uglier than ever.
Poor Jay and Austin felt terrible. Jay said "But you told me not to mention mothers day! That's why we waited as long as we did. How could you think they would ever forget about you?"
With my peri-menopausal induced fog and forgetfulness, I forgot I had told him to not mention Mothers Day. Oops. My bad. And I felt horrible for thinking they would be insensitive like that...and yes, I cried some more (God bless those hormones).
And I'm sure that's not the last irrational volcanic eruption this house will ever see. I hope the hardwood floors can take it.