I talked on the phone yesterday to a good friend of mine and my heart is breaking for her. She is married and has 2 boys. Her oldest son is almost 21 and has dated the same girl for 5 years and they got engaged this past Valentines Day. They were set to get married in the summer of 2010 when both had graduated from college.
I have no idea what happened, but the young couple broke off their engagement and are no longer in a relationship. It's not that this is new to anyones life. This happens, and if it's going to happen, it's better it happens before the trip down the aisle, no matter how sad it is.
What is almost "bizarre" is how her son appears to be handling things. He's always on the go now, like a ping pong ball. Always wants (or needs) to be doing something. Whether it's biking with a friend, or wanting to go with the buddies on a weekend getaway or spending money on trivial things and he's always been pretty conservative when it comes to money.
Sure that part makes sense. He's hurting. It's easier to keep your mind occupied than to feel the pain. I get that. His mom and dad get that. What they don't get is his treatment of them. They are suddenly like the enemy. She said he lashes out at them for any little thing they say and twists their words and he says they are yelling at him or criticizing him. He says they love his brother much more than they've ever loved him and he doesn't "belong" in their family.
When I talked to her last night she was so upset because he had screamed at them so badly a couple of days earlier and was on what appeared to be a wild irrational tangent - like a 2 yr old having a temper tantrum. He lashed out at not only his parents, but also his brother to whom he's been very close. He left to go back to his apartment and they haven't heard from him since (although one of his roommates assures the parents he is physically fine). He had told his parents he didn't want to be a part of their family, he would never speak to them again, and would never come home again. Since that time he won't answer any of their phone calls.
The poor parents are obviously distraught. They don't know if it's depression over the break-up, if it's drugs or alcohol (however, they really don't believe that's the case due to nothing else has changed - he's still a 4.0 student, has 2 part time jobs, he's very nice looking & careful about his appearance, etc). They don't know what to do, and due to the fact that he's an adult, they can't force him to do anything like counseling.
She asked me to pray for her son. She asked me to pray for her and her husband and their son. This is a good family in crisis, and I ask that you please, please pray for them and their son as well. I pray that Jesus leads him home.
9 comments:
We are not to sometimes understand why - just trust that Jesus knows best and pray for his guidance.
We will include this family in our prayers and continue to keep us informed.
so tough! I will pray for them. Thanks for sharing it with us!
That is a very, very sad story. I will pray for guidance for his parents and protection for their son. And, of course, for the little lost sheep to find his way home.
praying
It's pretty common for someone who is experiencing a great loss or an abrupt change in life to take it out on the ones they love the most. Or maybe he has a hormonal/chemical imbalance in his body. Have they talked to his ex-fiance to find out if his sudden change in behavior caused their break up? Either way, all people (the son, the family, & the ex-girlfriend) are in my prayers. I'm sure after 5 years, everyone involved is feeling some sort of emotional loss.
SO SAD....we have one of "those" too... I know exactly how they feel...I will be praying and praying hard... God has a plan... let it go.
Dena- I can so relate to your friend and ger family.
My husband, son and myself are going through something with our daughter.
She left our home 10 weeks ago. She will be 20 in 9 days. Has a bad boyfriend. Very controlling. But she does not see this. Graduated from tech school in Dec. had a great job and I said had because last week she texted me and said they arrived safely. Her friend told me they went to the State of Washington. We live in WI. She left her job and never told them. She too will not talk to us. Has not been to church since she left. Says hateful things to us. I did alot of crying up until Saturday. I have to realize that these are her adult decisions and this is God's plan. My heart hurts and I pray for strength daily. I hope that soon she will call us and say can I come home. I always end the few conversations we have had in ten weeks with the door will always be open and dad and I love her very much. I will pray for your friends family. Please let her know that their is another family going through something like them too.
I will pray for him.
Dena I am so sorry you are hurting for your friend. I will be praying for that family. Some of the things you mentioned reminded me of programs i have seen about young men on steroids. maybe he has been caring about his appearance too much.
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